MARYSUES
by Fyuro
Summary: All these unwilling Mary-Sues ever wanted was to be NORMAL. Unfortunately, the Interdimensional Mary-Sue Distribution Bureau won't let them. So, these girls hatch a plan; fail their mission to romance their assigned partners from Naruto! Of course, it's going to be pretty difficult to do when 8 hot girls and 8 hot guys are stuck together in a ninja-proof boarding house. -Parody-
1. Prologue

M.A.R.Y.S.U.E.S.

by Fyuro

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Prologue

It was a cataclysmic day at the Interdimensonal Mary-Sue Distribution Bureau.

IMSDB workers were buzzing around like a swarm of angry bees. People ran down hallways carrying stacks of paper work larger than themselves, secretary's didn't have enough hands or mouths to answer the thousands of phones that were ringing of their hooks, coffee-spills were becoming more frequent than infomercials and several employee's were having emotional breakdowns.

"Jorge, hand me folder 127-b."

"You have a call on line 4, Mimi."

"The coffee machine broke!"

"I think the 3rd floor's bathroom is on fire!"

"The Interdimensonal Gary-Sue Distribution Bureau wishes to borrow hair gel, they claim it is an emergency, mam."

"I _know _the 3rd floor's bathroom is on fire!"

In the midst of all the chaos, and looking very much out of place among the nicely dressed office workers, was a teenage girl. Clad in a baggy, green cameo jacket, jeans and a worn out sneakers; she looked alien compared to everyone else.

She sighed angrily, expertly ducking and weaving her way through the insane crowd. '_What in the name of Madame Mary-Sue has their panties in a twist?' _Were her first thoughts._ 'Are there too many Mary-Sue returns? Those have been becoming more frequent lately... Or maybe some crazy rouge Gary-Sue broke into the IMSDB compound? I shutter to think of what __happened__ last time one of those crazy boys got in here...'_

"Sorry!" the teen apologized after accidentally knocking over some poor secretary and scattering her giant stack of paperwork to the floor. She quickly knelt next to the woman, helping her gather the papers. "Wasn't watching where I was going. I'm kinda in a rush."

The woman laughed kindly and readjusted her glasses. The girl figured that secretary was probably in her mid-thirties, maybe lower-forties. "Oh, it's no problem. I'm use to this sort of thing by now." the woman said, giving her a professional smile.

She smiled politely back. "So, what's with all the commotion today? It's usually not so crazy here."

The woman's eyes widened. "Oh, you haven't heard?" she gushed; it was obvious to the teen that this lady loved gossip. "There is a problem in the Naruto branch of the IMSDB. Something about not enough female characters in the series to balance out all the hot, single male characters. I've even heard rumors that the IMSDB might end up shutting the entire Naruto series down if the problem isn't fixed in time."

The teen groaned. "That would explain why I'm here then." she sighed, standing and dusting her knees off. "Well, that should be all of your papers Miss-" the teen read the secretary's name tag. "-Justine."

"Oh, yes! Well, thank you Miss...?" the woman looked for a name tag on the teenagers clothing; her brows furrowing when she didn't see one.

"Argent. Argent Tina." Argent supplied, noticing the woman's confused expression.

The lady frowned a little at Argent's name before smiling (an albeit fake smile, but still...) and nodded. "Well, very nice to meet you, Miss Tina."

"Likewise." she replied, turning on her heels and walking away.

"W-wait!" the secretary called out. The teen stopped and looked over her shoulder at the slightly disheveled looking lady, who was giving Argent a slightly suspicious look. "I haven't seen you here before, what's your position here at the IMSDB?"

Argent grinned, her unnaturally perfect, white teeth shining and her purple eyes glinting mischievously. She flipped her silky, yet spiky, waist length, ebony hair over her shoulder and answered. "Me? I'm just your typical, run of the mill, average, everyday, completely ordinary... _Mary Sue_."

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_All tips, comments and critiques are welcome if anyone is willing to offer it._

_I appreciate any help I can get with my writing :)_

_~Fyuro_


	2. Chapter 01 Meeting Sam Miester

_Authors Note: Thank you_ deeb0123456789 _for being the first (and only) reviewer! Hope you enjoy this next chapter too :)_

M.A.R.Y.S.U.E.S.

by Fyuro

Chapter 01

Meeting Sam Miester

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_"If you can't change your fate, change your attitude."_

- Amy Tan

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Argent hated being a Mary Sue.

Simple and plain as that. She despised everything Mary-Sue's stood for. The perfect smiles, the attitudes, the false friendships and sugar coated lies. She loathed 'catching' her man, making him fall for her by using any means necessary.

Argent had been 'Sueing' since she was eight years old; nearly for seven years now. Her first job was to be the Mary-Sue of a main character of a story when he was a child, then 'die' a tragic death, leaving him to weep over her grave. Argent would never, _could _never, forget his face. The completely hopeless, sorrowful look in his tear-ridden eyes.

For years, she stored the images in the back of her mind, doing whatever it took to get rid of them; continuing on her life as a Sue. As time went on, she became Mary-Sues for all sorts of characters. Either wowing them with her combat abilities, good looks, and amazing talents, or making them feel sorry for her with her traumatic past. When it came to being a Mary-Sue, Argent was the best of the best. Few people could out 'Sue' her. She never failed to acquire her target, _ever_. There was a time when she loved it. It was an empowering feeling, to know that you could have any guy you wanted, and break him whenever you wanted. But now, after so many years, she despised it. She loathed being 'perfect', being so _fake_, so cruel and wicked on far too many levels.

Even if she were to quit (which she desperately wanted, more so than anything else in the world), where else could she go? She ran away from home a long time ago (part of the whole 'tragic past' kick) and couldn't go back. Besides, as part of the life-binding contract you sign when you become a Sue, you can only quit when your start losing your attractiveness... and Argent was a long ways away from becoming an old hag.

In truth, she didn't exactly know what she wanted to do when or _if_, she could stop being a Sue. Sure, she had lots of talents, but they all felt so hollow to her. She didn't think she wanted to make a living off of a talent she didn't feel like she either earned or deserved. Besides, how could she even think of pursuing a 'happily ever after' after all the damage she has caused? After all lies she told, and after all the hearts she had broken?

_She couldn't._

Argent's brows furrowed, a quiet, aggravated growl escaping her lips. All this angsting about her past wasn't helping anyone any... in fact, it was proving more than ever to her that she was a Mary-Sue. An angsty 'poor-little-me' Sue! She folded her arms behind her head and leaned against the back of the bench she was sitting on.

Argent was sitting here because a rather annoying and stuffy butler told her to since - _'Madame Mary-Sue is a very busy Mistress and needs to finish her duties before she can come indulge eager Mary-Sues with her loveliness'_. She closed her eyes and attempted to relax. _'Just chill Argent. You don't want to completely come unglued in your meeting with the Madame... Just breathe, in, out, in, out, in-'_

"Um, excuse me?"

She cracked one eye open and glowered at the person who dared interrupt her _chillaxing_ meditation.

It was a kid, probably not much older than 10 or 11. She had short, boy-cut dark brown hair and a pair of goggles strapped to her head. She had big, brown eyes and pale skin that was dotted with freckles on her nose and cheeks. She was wearing a simple orange hoodie with the numbers 02 on the front and a pair of jeans. She also had a small duffel bag that looked like it had seen better years hung over her skinny shoulders, and was wearing a pair of white gloves.

Argent raised her brows. The girls cheeks turned pink at her criticizing stare. "I-Is this the entrance to M-M-Madame Mary-Sues o-office?" the kid stuttered, pointing at the large, gaudy, 20 some-odd feet tall set of double doors that Argent's bench was located near. The door had intricate designs of all kinds of creatures and plants carved into it's golden surface... and Argent could have _sworn _she saw little pink sparkles floating around it...

"Yup." Argent replied, popping the 'p' when she said it.

"Oh! Um... um... I was told to come and see her. Is she... in?" she girl asked again, shuffling nervously from foot to foot.

Argent shrugged her shoulders. "I have no idea. The butler told me to wait here, so I am."

"Oh..." the kid mumbled, looking down at her shoes. "M-may I sit here?"

"It's not like I own the bench." she replied dryly.

"Th-thank you!" the kid breathed happily, sitting down immediately after she'd been given permission to. Argent felt somewhat amused with this girls shyness and politeness, it was a rare thing to come across in the self-righteous world of Mary-Sues. The teen's mouth formed into a small frown and she tilted her head slightly, giving the kid another appraising once over.

"What's your name kiddo?"

The child looked startled before replying in a rush. "Oh, I'm Sam! Sam Miester!" she held her hand out for Argent to shake.

Argent took it. "Argent Tina. So Sam, what exactly are you doing here?"

Sam's smile faltered. "Well, I was told by the Mary-Sue testing facilities secretary to come to Madame Mary-Sue to discuss the results of my test."

Argent blinked. "You're... applying to be a Mary- Sue?" _'Geeze, wouldn't have thought just by looking at her. Not that she's ugly or anything... just not Sue material...'_

The smile completely left Sam's face. "Yeah... I don't think I did very well with my test though..."

"What makes you say that?"

"I only checked nine boxes in the questionnaire..."

She winced. _'Dang, that is bad...' _

Sam sighed, staring at her feet and clicking the sides of her shoes together. The two didn't say anything more for a little while. Argent watched the kid out of the corner of her eye; her frown deepened, seeing the kids downcast face. Sympathy had never been a strong suit of Argent's, but she just couldn't bare to see this girls 'kicked puppy' expression any longer. So, mustering up every little shred empathy in her entire being, she said. "You know, being a Mary-Sue isn't all that great. In fact, it's probably one of the worst jobs out there."

"Oh, I know that."

That threw Argent's mind for a loop. She knew that? "Then why the hel-heck do you look like someone killed your best friend?" she demanded, a bit of frustration creeping into her otherwise cool, nonchalant tone.

Sam jumped back slightly, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. "Well-well you see, I need the money."

Argent blinked. Money? It that all? "You know, if you just need a little pocket change, there are better ways of going about it that selling your soul to the she-devil." she jabbed at the large doors with her thumb.

"I... I need a bit more than just pocket change..." she mumbled, looking down at her hands and twiddling her thumbs.

"How much?" If what the kid needed was reasonable, Argent wouldn't mind giving her some cash. Anything to stop another innocent child from becoming a corrupt Mary-Sue.

"Um, in US dollars, I suppose it totals a little over... 1.2 million."

Her jaw dropped. "What would a kid like you need over a million dollars for!"

Sam sighed again, her shoulder slumped and averted her eyes from Argent's. "It's... kind of a long story."

Argent shoved her hands into her jacket pockets and shrugged her shoulders. "I've got time kiddo."

"Well, I come from the dimension of Bliel."

Argent frowned, mentally running over the list of dimensions she knew of. Bliel wasn't ringing any bells though. "I haven't heard of that dimension before."

The brunette smiled sadly. "I wouldn't be surprised. We're a small star system pretty far away from any other advanced civilizations, and we prefer to keep to ourselves most of the time. Bliel is also a very small planet with little land mass... our only continent is about the size of Australia on the planet Earth in the Milky Way dimension." she took a deep breath. "About 100 years ago the Northern and Southern parts of our continent broke out into a civil war. There was a conflict among religions, you see. The Northern people worshiped the God Ipaia, who was, in the opinion of the North, the supreme God over all the other deities our planet worships; whereas the Southern people worshiped the Goddess Volema, and they believed she was the supreme Goddess over all the others."

"What started as a small difference in opinion soon grew into a full scale war. Weapons of the worst kinds were invented, and lots of people were killed. After nearly 85 years of constant warfare, a peace treaty was finally formed and things slowly began to improve... that is, until _it _struck." she grew quiet.

"What struck?" Argent asked.

"Our entire planet was struck with a... plague... yes, plague would probably be a best term for it. Doctors call it 'The God's Wrath'. It's a disease - don't worry, it's not contagious-" Sam added when she noticed Argent scoot to the farthest side of the bench as possible. "- it's a disease that makes anyone who has it have lung and heart problems, then they just start to... fall apart."

"Fall apart?" the teen asked, scooting back onto the bench.

"Mm-hm. Anyone who has this disease start losing limbs and other body parts until they simply are just... no more. This sickness also effects the birthing process. Very few babies and mothers survive childbirth now, and even fewer children are born with all their limbs..." she trailed off. Sam removed the glove from her left arm, and rolled up the sleeve on her left arm. "Like me."

Instead of a pale skinned, possibly freckled arm there was a cold, gray steel prosthetic arm; it almost looked it belonged to a suit of armor. Each of the finger joints looked like screw heads, and the elbow joint looks like metal balls. Argent noticed that the arm itself reached all the way up to Sam's shoulder, and that the arm looked a bit to big for her.

"This is a bio-prosthetic arm. It connects to my nervous system with lots of small wires and functions like a natural arm would. I was lucky to only lose one limb, many kids I know have lost much more than that... " she frowned. "This was my brothers arm before he succumbed to 'The God's Wrath'. My parents couldn't afford a new one, it's not that we're poor or anything, they are just extremely expensive, so we used his..." Argent looked up at Sam to see bits of moisture welling up in the girls eyes. "The doctors told me... that the disease has started infecting my insides too, and are causing a lot of damage. According to them, I have only a year left to live, maybe a year and a half if I'm lucky, before the disease completely overtakes me. We need the money to fund our research to cure the ones who still have a chance. So, I volunteered to become a Mary-Sue, since it is a high-paying job that a kid my age could apply for... I have a semi-tragic past and couple Mary-Sue traits, so I thought I might maybe be able to get in... but now..." she trailed off, swallowing hard and looking down at her hands.

Argent looked away and the two became quiet again.

...

...

...

"Were you ever physically or mentally abused or tortured?"

Sam looked up. Argent's eyed were closed and she was sitting slightly slouched. "Huh?"

"Just answer the question."

"Umm... No, no and no?" Sam answered, though she still sounded confused.

"Raped?"

The kids face turned tomato red with embarrassment. "No!"

"Do you succeed in virtually everything you try?"

"Uh, no."

"Do people often compliment you on your looks?"

"Um, Great Granny Fredrika thinks my freckles are cute..."

Argent sighed. "That doesn't count. Do you have natural eye, hair or skin coloration that is _not_natural among your species?"

"No."

"Do you have a particularly attractive scent that doesn't come from perfume, shampoo, etc?"

Sam sniffed herself. "Um, I don't think so..."

"Do you have a scar, or some sort of small flaw that doesn't detract from your appearance?"

"I have a scar where my bio-prosthetic connects to my shoulder."

"Okay, that's one. Do you get into a lot of physical fights and have no scars to show for it?"

"I don't get into any fights... in fact, I'm not really that good at any kind of athletics..."

"Ugh, you're making this difficult..." Argent grumbled, opening her eyes and resting her chin in the palm of her hand. "...Are you a cross or hybrid of two or more species?"

"Not that I am aware of."

"Are you driven by completely justified revenge?"

"No."

The teen grumbled something under her breath. "Have you ever had amnesia?"

"Not that I can remember." Sam replied, nearly giggling at her own attempt of a joke.

"Ha ha ha." the teen drawled, giving her a sidelong glare. "Who knew you had a sense of humor? Hm... are you related to royalty, and/or were adopted by royalty?"

Sam grinned. "I wish."

"Are you the best or among the best at what you do?"

"Um, I'm considered the top in my class in engineering. Mr. Schnowder say's I'm a natural."

"That's two now. Are you a 'Chosen One' or do you play a major role in a prophecy?"

"..No?"

"Are you parent's unreasonably strict and cruel?"

"No, my parent's aren't anything like that."

"Okay... do you have an exceptionally good singing voice?"

"Ugh, no. I was singing in the shower once and the neighbor's called animal control because they thought my mom was torturing a cat."

Argent's lips curled into a smirk-ish smile. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, they searched the house and everything. They ended up busting into the bathroom, with me still in the shower." Sam recalled, her cheeks turning a delicate shade of pink. "It wasn't pretty, let me tell you."

Argent opened her mouth to ask another question, when the heard someone clear their throat obnoxiously loud. She and Sam looked up.

"The Madame will see you now." The annoying butler from before said, his lips were curled into a slightly disgusted grimace at Argent and Sam.

"Alright, let's go kiddo." the purple eyed teen said, getting to her feet and stretching her arms above her head; her back popped loudly."What took so long anyway?"

The butler sighed, as if giving an explanation was taxing to his health. "The Madame was putting on her make-up. It is a daily ritual that requires much concentration and can sometimes take hours to complete. Now, follow me, if you please." He opened the large golden doors and made a gesture for them to enter.

Argent sighed and stuffed her hands into her pockets. "You coming kid?" she asked, looked over her shoulder at Sam.

Sam nodded, slipping her white glove back on her mechanical hand. Argent noticed that Sam's hands were shaking.

And once again, Argent was placed a position that she had no idea how to handle. What was she going to say? Sam failed nearly every question and probably wouldn't get the position of Mary-Sue. How was Argent supposed to be sympathetic towards that? What could she even say? She rubbed the back of her neck and sighed. As tenderly as she could, she patted Sam on the back; managing a half-smile. "Well, let's get going. We wouldn't want the Madame's makeup to melt off before we get there, now would we?" _'Mary-Sue rule #27 When in doubt, make 'em laugh.'_

The child nodded again and gave Argent a watery smile. "I suppose not."

Passing through the double doors, both Argent and Sam entered the Madame's office. Golden doors closing shut behind them.

Neither one knowing that, from that point on, their fate's were intertwined.

Unchangeable, inevitable... _fate._

_So, what do you think?_

_I ran Sam through the Mary-Sue test on .net_

_She really did only check 9 of the boxes xD (not counting the De-Suifiers, which she only checked 4 of)_

_So any thoughts on the characters? Was Sam's sad past a little over the top?_

_All tips, comments and critiques are welcome if anyone is willing to offer it._

_I appreciate any help I can get with my writing :)_

_~Fyuro_


	3. Chapter 02 The Madame's News, The Sues

M.A.R.Y.S.U.E.S.

by Fyuro

Chapter 02

The Madame's News, The Sues Blues and Ninja Dudes

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_"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."_

- Winston Churchill

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"Wow, this place is really..."

"Over the top? Gaudy? So sparkly it makes you want to gouge your own eyes out?"

Sam giggled nervously. "I, uh, was going to say it's really, uh... _interesting_."

"Tch, you're way to polite for your own good." Argent scoffed, though internally amused.

In truth, she had visited Madame Mary-Sue's office many times before, and each time she came here the room changed. Today the Madame's office was made of pure, sparkling tan marble. The room itself was long, almost like a very long and wide hallway. Gold pillar's carved in the likeness of the Madame herself held up the high ceilings; they were all scantily dressed and posed in very provocative positions. Many colors of silks and sheer fabrics hung like streamers along the ceiling, hiding much of it from view. Behind the rows of statues were long, narrow ponds that ran the length of the room, water poured out into them from perfectly spaced holes in the walls; Argent could make out some of the colorful koi that swam in the water. The only thing that never changed about the Madame's office was the smell. The thick smog of perfume, exotic beverages and other things she could not identify burned Argent's nostrils

"Argent, darling!"

She shuttered involuntarily. Only one person in the entire universe could ever call Argent 'darling' and live to tell the tale. "Madame Mary-Sue." she answered evenly.

At the end of the room, sat the flesh and blood version of the Madame. Madame Mary-Sue was a beautiful woman. She had long, raven-black hair that curled at the ends, and deep, piercing blue eyes. Her skin was pale and white as snow, and the only small flaw on her skin was a silver plus sign birthmark on her forehead. The Madame's lips were full, but not overly so. She had curves that any Mary-Sue would kill for, and a large chest size to boot. The Madame was dressed in clothes that reminded Argent of the Arabic prostitutes. Black, puffy pants that were bound to her ankles by silver anklets, and a revealing, black tube top that showed all of her stomach and much of her large breasts. Silver, bangle bracelets and large silver hoop earrings completed the outfit.

"Come come, sit." the Madame said, smiling lavishly at the two and waving them over to her. She was sitting on a purple silk futon, sipping a drink that Argent didn't recognize. She and Sam sat together on the low backed, curved white couch across from the Madame; the younger of the two fidgeted nervously and the older met the Madame's eye levelly.

"Ah, I know I called _you_ into my office today, Argent darling. But, I don't recalled sending for you." she said, looking at Sam; her voice was so sugar coated and falsely sweet, it nearly made the teen gag.

"Oh, I-I was told by the M-Mary-Sue t-test-"

"Don't stutter dear, it's unattractive." the Madame said in her sugary tone.

Sam swallowed and began again. "I was t-told by the Mary-Sue testing facilities secretary to give t-this to you, Madame." she reached into her pocket and handed the Madame a small, disk-like device. It was silver with blue, glowing runes engraved into it and a large glowing button in the center.

The Madame took the device and pushed the button. A three-dimensional hologram appeared from the disk's center, and words began to form that Argent couldn't read. But according to the look on the Madame's face, whatever it was saying displeased her. She turned the device off, her eyes closed and her face contemplative. When she opened them again, Argent could see the underlying anger in her eyes, though the rest of her face was formed into a pretty smile. "I regret to inform you, Ms. Miester, that you did not meet our qualifications."

That made Argent suspicious. Why would the IMSDB testing facilities send Sam all the way here, just to have Madame Mary-Sue tell her exactly what the testing facility would have? It made no sense.

"Bu-but-!"

"You only managed to get a score of 9 out of the entire test." the Madame interrupted. "The minimum passing score is 40. It was very... _cute _of you think you could qualify for the position though." her lips curved upward into a nasty, smirk-like smile. "Perhaps you'll have better luck next year."

Sam looked down at her hands, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. And Argent knew all to well why.

She didn't _have_ a next year.

"You may go now." Madame Mary-Sue said, dismissing her with a wave of the hand.

Without a single word of protest, Sam got to her feet and slowly walked off.

"Now, Argent. about what I called you here for..."

But Argent wasn't listening. She was watching Sam. Watching as her shoulders slumped dejectedly, watching as small tears leaked from her eyes, watching as they spattered onto the floor as she cried noiselessly. _'I shouldn't be feeling so bad about this. I knew she wouldn't become a Mary-Sue. She's just not the type.' _she shook her head and forced herself to look away. _'It's not my problem.'_

_"__I have only a year left to live, maybe a year and a half if I'm lucky, before the disease completely overtakes me. We need the money to fund our research to cure the ones who still have a chance. So, I volunteered to become a Mary-Sue."_

That feeling came back again. The one that surfaced when Sam told Argent about her disease, that unknown feeling that Argent couldn't shake off no matter what she tried. She suddenly stood, startling the Madame.

"Madame Mary-Sue, I would like to take on an apprentice."

Madame Mary-Sue blinked once. "An.. apprentice?" she rubbed her chin in thought. "I suppose it's about time you started teaching your secrets to some of the younger one's. You the best Mary-Sues we have, after all." the Madame smiled. "I think it's an excellent idea! I have a list of suitable candidates you can choose from."

"That's not necessary, I've already chosen."

The Madame looked surprised. "Really? Who?"

Argent turned around, Sam had her hand on the doorknob and was in mid-turn. "Sam!"

Sam stopped, turning around and giving Argent a confused look.

Wondering if she'd live to regret this, the purple eyed teen pointed at the floor next to herself and narrowed her eyes at the kid. "Get your butt over here!"

Startled, Sam ranover to her, stopping and sitting exactly right in the spot she had pointed to. Argent grumbled. "I didn't mean it _literally_." before grabbing the upper part of Sam's arm and lifting her to her feet. She pointed at the child. "I choose Sam Miester to take on as my apprentice."

Madame Mary-Sue raised her eyebrows.

...

...

...

"Her?"

"Yes."

"That child?"

"Yes."

"The one standing next to you?"

"I see no other children standing next to me besides her, Madame."

"The one that only scored a _9_."

"_Yes._"

...

...

...

"Argent, darling, be reasonable."

Argent stiffened and tugged Sam closer to her. "I _am _being reasonable. Sam is a bright, intelligent and slightly overly polite child. I think she'd make a great Sue, if given the proper training."

The Madame sighed. "There are many other _worthy_ candidate out there, ones that don't require training." she narrowed her eyes. "No, Argent, I will not allow it."

The teen opened her mouth to argue, but stopped herself. She smiled a smile nearly as lavish as the Madame and said. "But, it's just... I feel so _bad _for her." she said, her voice trembling with false sorrow. "A poor, little kid like this getting her hopes and dreams of becoming something as noble as a Mary-Sue crushed... It just breaks my heart."

Sam frowned. "I'm right here you kn-"

Argent covered Sam's mouth with her hand, her smile growing a tad bit tight. "Madame, how about I give Sam a trial period apprenticeship? Let me have one year with her, and if she doesn't improve, I'll get a new apprentice."

Madame Mary-Sue frowned, but appeared to be giving the idea some thought. Finally, she sighed. "Very well Argent. One year. If she doesn't improve, she'll be sent back to her home world. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal."

The Madame sighed again. "I suppose I'll have to make a spot for her in your next mission then. You're lucky I'm as kind as I am, Argent."

Argent fought back a grimace. "Yes... I'm... very lucky, Madame."

"Tell your apprentice to wait outside, and I'll debrief you on your mission."

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Sam wasn't entirely sure how long she had been waiting back on the bench outside of Madame Mary-Sue's office. It felt like hours.

She sighed and slouched against the back of the bench. She wondered why Argent wanted to take her on as an apprentice. What reason could she possibly have had? It wasn't like apprentices were paid, so it couldn't have been to help Sam get money. Did Argent just pity her that much?

Sam frowned. It could be. Sam couldn't really tell what she was thinking half of the time, or how she was feeling. Argent had surprised her with her actions on more than one occasion in the past hour they had known each other. Maybe Argent has a reason that just doesn't make sense? She was pretty strange, after all. Unlike anyone Sam had ever met before.

The doors opened, and Sam stood to attention. The subject in question stepped out, her pretty face was blank, but Sam could see a tiny bit of annoyance breaking through the emotionless facade.

"Well kiddo, looks like your going to be help me and 6 other Sues on a Mary-Sue mission." she said, walking over and looking down at her.

"Oh, um, great! I-I mean..." Unable to think of better words, she bowed deeply. "Thank you so much for everything you've done for me, Ms. Tina... or should I call you Teacher? Or-or would you prefer Sensei?"

Sam heard Argent groan and she immediately stiffened. "Enough with the politeness already! And it's Argent. Not Ms. Tina, not Sensei, not Teacher, not Master, just _**Argent**_... And would you quit bowing?"

She straightened up, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. "Oh! Um, s-sorr-"

"_**Don't **__**apologize.**_"

"Oh, sorry!" Sam's eyes widened. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to say sorry! Oh, darn, I said it again. Sor-"

Argent covered Sam's mouth with her hand. She could have sworn she saw an anime sweatdrop form on Argent's temple. "Just... just forget it. You're forgiven."

Sam sighed in relief. "So, what did the Madame say?"

"Long story short, the Naruto series doesn't have enough romance in it for our Madame's liking. Tomorrow, Madame Mary-Sue is going to zap eight characters from that world, stick them inside a ninja proof boarding house-apparently the people from Naruto are all ninja's-and lock you, me, and six other Sues inside so we can... " Argent waved her hand around in a vague gesture. "_Romance _them."

Sam felt the color drain from her face. Romance! "B-but I'm only ten!"

She shrugged. "You'll probably start with a character your age, or an immortal character. The immortal, or non-aging ones usual have the _'I met you as a child and have grown to love you as you become a woman' _romance. You'll most likely be befriending an immortal, since it creates more drama than a romance with a child your age would."

"...That doesn't really make me feel any better."

"Hey, you're the one that wanted to be a Mary-Sue, remember? Ugh, c'mon, lets go back to my place and get some grub. We'll eat, do some basic training, go to bed, then get ready for the hell that is coming tomorrow."

"Isn't tomorrow a little soon for such an important mission?"

Argent started walking, and Sam caught a small, slightly creepy grin make it's way onto her face. "Mary-Sue Rule Number 43 - Faster, stronger, better, harder is the _only_ way to go. Now, let's get moving, I'm starved_._"

"... I think there were some implications in that statement that an innocent minded child such as myself should not have heard."

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"No no no! Sam! It's a basic sexy walk with a head turn and a hand on the hip! _Not _the hokey pokey! Try again."

Argent had made an very interesting discovery after she and Sam ate an early dinner together and started her eager young student's basic Mary-Sue training.

Sam sucked at being a Mary-Sue.

She'd never seen anything like it. Everything Sam did to try and be cute, sexy or flirty just ended up looking completely ridiculous! Maybe all Mary-Sues looked that way and Argent had just never realized it...

"How about this Miss Ti-I mean, Argent?"

She sighed. "No Sam, don't pout your lips like that, it makes you look like a fish. And don't tilt your head back so far! You look like you're having some kind of spasm."

"Right!"

Argent sat on the couch in her small, one bedroom apartment's living room, watching Sam parade around in a pair of pajamas she had lent her for the night. It was hard to correct Sam gently when everything she did was wrong. _'No wonder she only got a 9 on the test.' _

After a little while longer, Sam dropped on her butt onto the plush carpet floor and sighed. "I don't think I'm very good at this, Miss Argent."

She sighed and smacked the back of her head against the couch. "Just Argent. And you're improving... a little bit."

Sam looked up, a smile lit up her face and her brown eyes sparkled with new found hope. "You really think so?"

Argent cleared her throat uncomfortably and looked away._'Mary-Sue Rule Number 15 - Little white lies never hurt anyone.'_ "Most definitely." She faked a yawn and looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. "Well, it's getting late. Why don't we crash for the night and pick this up again later?"

Sam agreed and the two both started getting ready for bed. After a small scuffle between who got the bed and who slept on the couch, Argent won the Rock-Paper-Scissors contest and laid claim on the bed. The loser of the battle sighed and went to go brush her teeth while Argent collected some pillows and blankets for Sam to borrow.

After finding a nice, large comforter, a fuzzy blanket with hearts on it (a Valentines Day present from a Gary-Sue) and two squishy pillows. Argent decided to check and see how Sam was dong, since the kid was taking a long time in the bathroom.

Argent stopped, the door was opened slightly and had no shame on peeking inside and spying on her little apprentice.

Sam's back was turned, but Argent could see her face in the mirror. Sam took small, glass bottle filled with what looked like little, round red pebbles from out of her duffel bag. She opened it and popped two of them inside her mouth and swallowed. Sam shuddered. Argent noticed, on the back of Sam's neck, purple spidery veins that were sticking up out of her skin. After a moment, they started to pulse rapidly, like Sam's heart had sped up. She gasped in pain and put a hand over her heart. A moment later, the veins receded underneath her shirt. She quietly slipped the bottle back into her bag and started to brush her hair.

Pretending she hadn't seen a thing, Argent stepped inside. "I found some blankets you can use for the night."

Sam paused in mid-brush and smiled at her; but it wasn't a genuine one. "Thank you very much, Miss Argent."

"Just Argent." she said as Sam exited the bathroom.

"Goodnight!" she heard her call from the living room.

Argent frowned, that small, unidentifiable feeling twisting in her gut again.

"Yeah... Goodnight Sam."

_Author's Note: _

_Thank you blackcatgirl for the review!_

_So, what do guys think of the chapter? Any thoughts?_

_If you guys have questions about the story, let me know and I'll try to answer them at the end of next chapter (just so long as they aren't major plot spoiler questions).  
Review please ^^_

_All tips, comments and critiques are welcome if anyone is willing to offer it._

_I appreciate any help I can get with my writing :)_

_~Fyuro_


	4. Chapter 03 Enter Daethus! The Armaged

M.A.R.Y.S.U.E.S.

Chapter 03

Enter Daethus! The Armageddon Vanquisher of Eternity!

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_"__**Power corrupts... **__Absolute power is kind of neat."_

-Unknown

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Sam has been an unnaturally early riser ever since she was little. So, it was no surprise to her that she woke up several hours earlier than Argent. She had decided to spend this time exploring her teacher's apartment, even though there wasn't much to explore since it was relatively small and only had three rooms; the living room/kitchen, the bedroom and the bathroom.

As far as the appearance of Argent's home, it was surprisingly clean... almost unnaturally so. All of the counter tops, cabinetry and shelves were made a of a pure white, sleek plastic substance, and the color of every single wall was light blue. The floors were also made of the same white plastic material, but tougher. The furniture was based on the circle shape, from the white, half circle couch to the pod chairs to the kitchen table.

Sam sighed forlornly, sitting down at the small table. She'd explored every inch of Argent's apartment, and it wasn't even 6 AM yet! The girl put her elbows on the the surface and cupped her chin in her hands. Wait, she hadn't explored _everywhere _yet. She hadn't explored Argent's bedroom...

The child chewed her lower lip. She probably shouldn't go in there. It was Argent's private quarters and it would be very rude of her to come barging in uninvited while the teen was sleeping. But then again, she was awfully bored and Argent had told her to make herself at home when they first arrived here...

The brunette got up and peered nervously down the hallway. Argent's bedroom door stood at the very end of the hall, taunting the girl's curiosity, egging her on to come over and have a look inside. Sam slowly walked to the end of the hall, her hand grasped the white doorknob. A small bead of sweat trickled from her brow, dripping off her chin. She swallowed thickly and opened the door.

It was like stepping into an entirely different world. The room was pretty small, had a musty smell to it and was dimly lit. Book shelves lined all the walls except for one, which had a small, old writing desk with a sheathed broadsword hanging on the wall above it. The bed was a loft with even more shelving room underneath. Sam quietly shut the door behind her and observed the space with awe. She could tell the books were ancient just by glancing at them. Brown, faded paper stuck out unevenly from underneath the covers, the spines of the tomes were battered and many of the titles were too faded to read, and the ones that were readable were in languages that Sam had no knowledge of. Nestled in between some of the books were strange artifacts of which she's never seen the like. Some looked like miniature silver telescopes, others looked like glass orbs, models of odd creatures and alien hand tools.

Looking up, she saw pictures of different star systems taped to the ceiling; red pen marks circling some planets and stars and red lines connecting the circled places. Models of different aircrafts and flying creatures also hung from the ceiling by small threads. Sam climbed the loft beds ladder, only to find a bed that did not look like it had been slept in at all. The blankets weren't so much as wrinkled.

Sam blinked. But... if Argent wasn't here, then where was she?

The rustling of cloth below caught her attention. She climbed back down the ladder and looked around the room. Sam watched in amazement as a pile of fabric stacked on a chair next to the desk moved up and down; almost as if it was breathing. The girl tip-toed over to the pile.

Hidden underneath the stack of clothing was none other than Argent! The teen had a blanket draped over her shoulder hiding most of her body from view. Argent's head was laying on the desk, her folded arms and an open book were her pillows. Sam peered over the teen's shoulder, trying to make out the contents of the book, but didn't understand the language it was written in.

"You'd make an awful ninja."

Sam screamed and fell flat on her butt. Argent turned around in her chair, raising an eyebrow at the brunette. Sleep apparently had no affects on the teen, her hair was just as perfect as I would have been if it had just been brushed. Sam bowed her head. "S-sorry Argent! But, well, I-I got up early and was bored and th-there wasn't much for me to do and I knew I probably shouldn't have come in here, b-but I was really really curious... and I'm so so sorry!" The small girl babbled, looking as though she was ready to burst into tears.

"Geeze, calm down!" Argent said, waving her hands in an 'easy there' gesture. "I'm not mad. All I said was 'you'd make an awful ninja'. How the hell did you interpret 'I want to rip your head off I'm so furious at you' out of that?"

"W-well, this is _your _room and I should've asked for permission before entering... and I should've knocked too!" she nearly wailed.

"I suppose you should've brought me flowers and a puppy while you were at it too?" Argent asked dryly.

"I-I should have?"

The amethyst eyed girl threw her hands up in the air. "I was being sarcastic!"

"Sor-"

"Don't apologize." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You realize that the Mary-Sues are going to eat you alive if you keep this up, right?"

"I'll say. They will, as you youngsters say, 'chew her up and spit her out' at this rate." A deep, male, English accented voice echoed throughout the room.

"W-Who was that?" Sam asked, looking fearfully around the room and scooting closer to Argent.

"Oh, that's just Dave." Replied the ebony haired girl with a dismissive wave of the hand.

"I am not this _Dave _of which you speak, woman! I am _Daethus_ the Armageddon Vanquisher of Eternity!"

"Yeah yeah. That name is way to long and makes no sense whatsoever, so you're Dave."

Sam tapped Argent's leg. "Argent... who is Daethus-er-Dave?"

The teen blinked several times before face-palming. "Oh, right! How could I have forgot? He was sulking yesterday and refused to talk, so I never got the chance to introduce you. Hang on a sec." She got up out of the chair, walked over to the wall and took the broadsword down from it's place on it. She unsheathed it, revealing a shining, but relatively plain looking, silver blade. The swords hilt was made of dark wood. Argent held it out for Sam to see. "Sam, meet Dave. Dave, Sam."

The girl inched closer, giving the blade a dubious look. "This... is Dave?"

Then, where the hand guard met the handle, an acid green eye appeared; it's cat-like pupil surrounded by emerald fire looked directly at Sam. "Indeed! Though I prefer the name Daethus the Armageddon Vanquisher of Eternity!"

Once again, the young girl screamed and stumbled back a few steps, pointing a shaky finger at the weapon. "It-it-it talked!"

The sword sighed happily. "Ah, that was wonderful! Oh, how long it had been since I've heard a scream of terror! A cry of agony and despair! It's been countless centuries since I last brought fear into the hearts of mankind! Ah... those were the glory days... days when people of _true _power and might could only wield me once every thousand years! But, alas, look at me now. Only mere eye-candy for this useless teenage wench. Oh, how the mighty have fallen!"

"_'Useless teenage wench'_? You're one to talk, you glorified letter opener. I haven't seen you do anything _useful _since the day I found you on that yardsale in Tenteron!" Argent hissed, glaring daggers at him.

"It is not _my _fault you don't know how use me properly! Oh, how could a little girl like you with absolutely no skill whatsoever be chosen to wield something as glorious as I? The concept is unfathomable!"

"I'm a Mary-Sue, I don't need skill. Deal with it."

"Um, Argent?" Sam asked, raising her hand like a kid in class requesting to ask a question.

"Yes Sam?"

"I hate to break up you and your... sword's conversation, but I was wondering, what time are we leaving for your-our mission?"

Argent glanced over at a small, wooden clock on one of the bookshelves. "Hmm... Well, we still have time for breakfast and to pack before we head out." She looked over at the young girl. "You hungry? 'Cause I'm starving and waffles sound pretty dang good right now."

"Wielders of demon swords do not eat _waffles _for breakfast, you daft girl!" Dave roared, the emerald fire surrounding his pupil growing in size. "Have you not read the book _Demon Sword Wielding for Dummies_ I bought for you last Christmas!?"

"Oh, just shut it and transform already."

With a sniff and grumbling of 'kids these days', Dave was surrounded in a silver light. Seconds later, a necklace with a silver sword pendant was wrapped neatly around Argent's neck.

Sam cocked her head to the side. "Is that how you usually carry him around?"

"Yeah. It's highly impractical to carry a sword on your back all the time, don'tcha think? I don't know how Cloud Strife manages to do it all day and still have perfect hair!"

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"Sam, just take deep breaths." Coaxed the purple eyed teen; inwardly torn between being very amused or being annoyed with her apprentice's new found stubbornness.

"I can't do this Argent! I just can't! There-there are six Mary-Sues in there! They'll eat me alive, just like you said! I'm not one of you guys! I'm just... just... _average_!" She wailed.

Argent sighed heavily. How did she get into situations like this? "You know Sam, being average isn't really a bad thing."

"It's not really a _good_ thing either, that's why it's_ average_!"

"You should have joined up with us years ago, Sam! Your incessant brooding is most entertaining!"

"Not helping Dave!"

"Well, excuse me for trying to lighten the mood." The demon sword pouted.

The Mary-Sue turned back to the distressed girl. They had made it out of Argent's apartment and to the boarding house in which they would be staying without problem. But, when they entered the house, Sam started to have a slight panic attack and was now clinging to the coat rack in the houses entryway. "Sam, I promise you that it won't be as bad as you're thinking. If a Mary-Sue harasses or says something mean to you, I'll-"

"Slay the scum right on the spot! Behead them before they can blink! Cremate the cur before they knew what hit them!"

"DAVE!"

"Why is it you never appreciate my help?"

"Maybe I would, if was actually _helpful_!"

"Argent darling, you're here!"

She grimaced. "Crap."

In less than a second, Argent was trapped in the bone-crushing embrace of the rather busty Madame Mary-Sue. The Madame usually didn't show such affections toward the other Mary-Sues, but apparently Argent, one of the few girls who had apprenticed directly under the Madame, was an exception to the rule.

Lucky her.

"It's so good to see you darling. The ladies were starting to get a little agitated." Said the woman, setting Argent down and gripping the panting girl by the shoulders, giving her a quick once-over. "Argent, you should have worn that cute little outfit I sent you last week. You know, the one with the rabbit ears? You'd look positively gorgeous!"

The teen pulled herself out of the Madame's grip. "It must've gotten lost in the mail, ma'am." She lied coolly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Honestly, the moment she had opened the package and saw a skimpy, two piece swimsuit with pink bunny ears and a matching, fluffy bunny tail, she incinerated it.

"Such a pity." She sighed. The woman's perfectly symmetrical eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion, looking behind the teen girl. "Argent darling... isn't that _your _apprentice clinging to that coat rack?"

"Yes Madame, she seems rather attached to it."

The busty female narrowed her eyes further, Argent noticed once again that unexplained anger sparking in the Madame's azure depths. "See too it you pry her off and take her inside, won't you?"

"Yes Madame." Replied Argent, watching as the head Mary-Sue turned on heel, disappearing through the doorway that lead to what looked like the living room. The teen frowned slightly, wondering what exactly it was about Sam that sparked such... _resentment _out of the Madame. She usually kept her sweet, kind mask on so flawlessly; it was unusual that just being in the same presence as Sam could make it fall off so easily. Storing the question in the back of her mind to later be solved, she turned back to Sam. "Sam, we really need to go in now. You didn't forget why you're here, did you?"

The girls eyes widened, realization lighting up her face before dropping down sadly. She nodded her head solemnly and hesitantly released her death grip on the coat rack.

Argent managed a half smile and clapped Sam on the back. "Atta girl."

"I do believe after you showed such affection toward that coat holder, he now has a crush on you Samantha." Said Dave, the eye on Argent's sword pendent swiveled over, looking at the young girl. "I daresay I don't blame him. You'd make a beautiful coat rack."

She blinked. "Um... thank you?" Sam said questioningly, looking to Argent for a clearer explanation.

The amethyst eyed teen nodded sagely. "Yes. You would definitely make one_ bodacious _coat hanger." She smirked and put one hand on Sam's back, pushing the girl forward, walking her towards the living room. "Well, c'mon then. If you can impress a coat rack, I'm sure you can impress six Mary-Sues."

_Author's Note:_

_I love Dave xD I had so much fun writing him! I don't really know where the 'talking sword' idea came from. I had been planing on giving Argent a _

_sword for a weapon since the start of the story, since swords are a general Mary Sue favorite, but I didn't plan on having it talk in my original plot._

_The Naruto guys should be appearing in the next chapter. Can you guess who? There are 8 of 'em._

_Anywho..._

_Thank you blackcatgirl and Woodshrew for your reviews! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter too._

_If __anyone__ has questions about the story, ideas they'd like to input, or anything like that, let me know!  
-insert __shameless__ puppy dog eyes here- _

_Please review ^^_

_All tips, comments and critiques are welcome if anyone is willing to offer it._

_I appreciate any help I can get with my writing :)_

_~Fyuro_


	5. Chapter 04 MarySue Meets Ninja

_Author's Note:PLEASE READ!_

_It is time to talk about a very important plot element of this story... the __**pairings**__. In short, there are NO decided pairings in this story, not yet anyway. The people who the Sues are given to romance in the beginning will NOT be who the Sue is paired up with romantically (__except__ for maybe one, but I'm still thinking about it) by the end of the story. Three girls will not even have a pairing by the end of the story._

_Also, the pairings will be reader influenced as well, and I'll have more Naruto characters popping in and out as it __progresses__, so if you have an idea for a pairing, give me a shout via Review or PM._

_*ahem* I __apologize__ for my ranting. You may continue reading now._

M.A.R.Y.S.U.E.S.

Chapter 04

Mary-Sue Meets Ninja

The Chapter of Many Awkward Silences

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_"Kittens are like potato chips, you can't have just ONE."_

- A lady at my veterinary clinic.

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Sam became painfully aware of how plain she was the second she stepped into the room. Six pairs of gorgeous, uniquely colored eyes turned toward her and Argent, making Sam's cheeks turn pink; she never liked to be the center of attention.

Madame Mary Sue ushered Argent in, leading her to an open space on the large, black leather sectional couch. Sam trailed behind, feeling the stares of the beautiful Sues follow her. The blush on her cheeks spread all the way down her neck and up to the tips of her ears.

She sat down next to Argent, who smirked and gave Sam a reassuring wink. She took a deep breath, gathering up enough courage to lift her head and look at the people who she would be living with for the next... however long they were going to stay here.

The first person she noticed was the girl sitting opposite of Argent on a large, red bean bag chair. The girl looked like she was probably around Argent's age. She had her silky, golden hair tied back in a braid that reached her middle back and small, spiky bangs framed her face. Her eyes were as honey golden as her hair, matching so perfectly that Sam couldn't help but wonder if it was actually possible to do naturally. The girls skin was lightly tanned, making the colors of her hair really stand out. She wore a open front, black robe that reached down to her ankles. Underneath the robe, Sam could make out a pink t-shirt, a pair of light colored jeans, and a pair of thick soled white tennis shoes. The girls hair was also tied back by a pink ribbon. She had two cats sitting next to her. One had short, pure black fur and two tails. The second had slightly longer white fur, no tail, large ears and a red rose mark on it's forehead.

The second girl Sam saw was sitting on a matching bean bag chair next to the blonde girl, and looked near the same age as her too. Her hair came down in white dreadlocks that brushed past her shoulders, one dreadlock was decorated with beads in varying shades of blue. The girl's skin was tanned a lot darker than the first girls, making Sam think this girl must've spent a lot of time in the sun, or that she was from a tropical climate. Sam felt slightly envious of the girls eyes, they were a luminous pumpkin orange, her favorite color. The girl was thin, and had a relatively small chest (well, compared to Madame Mary-Sue, at least) and had lots of lean muscle tone. The girl wore a skin tight, blue mask that covered her mouth and nose, she also wore a brown, open short-sleeve vest that revealed more skin tight, blue clothing. Her left arm was completely wrapped in bandages. A pair of khaki colored shorts and gladiator sandles that laced all the way up to her exposed knees completed the outfit.

The third girl sat on the opposite end of the sectional couch and looked to be in her late teens or early twenties. The first thing Sam noticed was that this woman had cat ears perched nearly on top of her head, and the cat-tail protruding from her rear end. The woman had long, silky lilac hair that was only a little shorter than Argent's, and has long, silky bangs that almost brushed into her green, feline eyes. Her skin was a peachy-cream color, the only 'flaw' on her skin was a small beauty mark under the corner of her right eye. The woman must like the color black, since that was the only thing she seemed to be wearing. A black leather, long sleeve jacket with a high collar and the first three buttons undone (reveal a rather large chest size) and black leather pants with matching, leather combat boots.

The fourth girl sat to the right of the third one, and looked like she was either 14 or 15 years of age. Her hair was a burnt orange color, and her eyes were blood red. The girl had extremely pale skin, and pointed ears that had many piercings. Her hair was pulled back into a low ponytail that reached just past her shoulder blades. Sam couldn't really tell what the girls body shape was, since she wore very baggy clothes similar to Argent's. A black hoodie with a skull, a pair of dark jeans with a chain dangling down to her upper thigh, a small knife holster strapped to her right leg, and a pair of black, leather combat boots with lots of silver buckles. The girl noticed Sam's stares and gave her a large, slightly sadistic grin, revealing a pair of elongated canine teeth.

Gulping, Sam turned her gaze to the girl sitting on the armrest at the very far end of the couch. She looked to be in her early twenties, maybe late teens. She had long, wavy red hair and soft, cerulean blue eyes. Her skin was a light, peachy-cream color. The girl noticed that had a beautiful, curvy build that rivaled that of the Madame's. She wore a long, floaty purple skirt and a white, long sleeve shirt that tied in the middle, revealing her flat, toned stomach. She was barefoot, but had a golden anklet around her left ankle. Sam noticed a small, iguana sized dragon with smooth, red scales and bat-like wings laying in her lap.

The final girl was standing behind the couch, watching the Madame with jewel-like, pink, calculating eyes. Her skin was the deep and rich color of chocolate, and her hair was leaf green. Her body build was slender, but toned. her hair was short, spiky with all her bangs swept to the right, covering most of that side of her face. Her clothes consisted of a pair of loose fitting, black capris, a purple shirt with long sleeves, one of them made out of fish-netting. Her matching purple sandals reminded Sam of the open toe sandals that ninja's wore.

Sam turned her head back too Madame Mary-Sue, only too get a paper shoved into her face.

"..alright?" The Madame said, finishing whatever speech she had been making. She glared down at Sam, a falsely sweet smile on her lips, though her spoke immense volumes of hatred. The girl shrank under the Sue's intense stare and tenderly took the piece of paper from her.

"Well, now that we have that taken care of." Said the Sue, surveying all her 'girls'. "I'll leave you eight alone to get to know one another and to read your mission files." She clapped her hands together. "I'll be back in half an hour with the boys! Ta-ta!" With that, she disappeared into thin air.

The eight girls looked at each other, uncertain of what to do next, or who should introduce herself first.

Finally the blonde girl with the cats grinned and stood from her bean bag chair, jabbing her herself with her thumb. "Hello everyone! My name is Serenity Opal Esmerelda Yvonel and I'm fourteen years old."

Everyone blinked.

"But, that name is really long and hard to remember, so you can all call me Soey for short, O.K?"

More silence.

Completely unfazed by their lack of enthusiasm, Soey continued. "I am a Wizard from a dimension called Okabibininilaladu, and-"

"Oka-whatsa now?" Asked the orange haired girl.

"Don't you mean 'witch?" Said the woman with cat ears, raising a delicate eyebrow at the hyper blonde.

Soey frowned. "Witch is such a sexist term! I am just as good as any boy... in fact, I'm better than most boys, so I'm a Wizard, not Witch. Anywho, as I was saying, I have your typical, average Wizard powers, such as spell casting, demon summoning, etc. I'm 5'5", my weight is my own personal beezwax. My favorite color is yellow, my favorite animal are cats, obviously. My favorite foods are chocolate, ice cream and chocolate ice cream! My Mary-Sue powers include being able to make nearly everyone around me happy, being able to make nearly everyone like me, being able to come up with long sappy speeches on love and friendship off of the top of my head, and being able to faint on cue. My hobbies include acting, reading, and making up my own spells."

She grinned, clapping her hands together. "My past is a simple one. Both of my parents were killed when I was a baby, because my uncle, who is evil and half crazy, wanted to steal me away for my awesome magic skills. He raised me and punished me horribly whenever I did something wrong. But, everything was O.K, because I had my two best friends-" She gestured to the cats. "Tulip -the black one- and Rose -the white one- To help be through the tough times. Eventually, I ran away from home and a member of the IMSDB found me and took me in. I've been a Mary-Sue ever since." Her eyes became glassy with unshed tears.

Wiping them away and beaming once again, she gesture to the girl with orange eyes next to her. "This is Ura. Ura Notazcuelazme. She can't talk, so I talk for her. We met shortly after I joined the IMSDB and have been best friends ever since. Ura is 15 years old and 5'7". Her weight is also her own business and she is from the Cuelrthanu dimension. Ura's favorite color is brown, her favorite animal is the hedgehog, she likes salty foods and dislikes sweet things. Her Mary-Sue powers include having random people hate her for no apparent reason... like the milk man, that cashier at Bubbles Bubbliscious Bubblegum Factory, remember last time we went there Ura? He threw that piece of bubble gum at you and it hit the bubblegum maker? Boy did that ever make a mess, and of course the manager blamed you for it... Whoops, getting off track! Anywho, her Mary-Sue powers also include attracting random hordes of monsters, bandits, pirates, salesmen, etc. She has the power of the 23 tailed Aardvark and ghost-ish abilities." Soey took a deep breath of air.

"Her hobbies include staring into the distance, yoga and folk-dancing. Ura was abused by her adoptive father for no apparent reason, he just did it for kicks, like 'Hey sweetie, I'm home! Want a cookie? SMACK!'." Soey said, deepening her voice. She giggled. "Well, one day, Ura lost control of the 23 tails and it killed her father and over half of the village. So she ran away and met Sensei Master Master. Sensei Master Master taught Ura how to control the bloodthirsty 23 tails and also taught her the Super-Secret-OMG-No-One-Knows-This Technique Technique of a Thousand Ghosts. But, the very second after she had perfected the technique that only she and her master knew, a horde of evil beavers came and killed Sensei Master Master! Ura, unable to fend off the beavers, even though she had super awesome powers and ninja skillz, ran away once again. That's when a Mary Sue from the IMSDB stepped in and saved her, whisking Ura away to the land of Mary-Sues, where she and I met." Once she finished giving Ura's life story, everyone turned the girl with flame hair. She nodded her head, confirming the information that Soey had given them.

The blonde took a deep breath and sat down, her golden eyes sparkling. "Okay, your turn!"

...

...

...

"Um... My name is Roan Phoenixheart Dragonfire." All eyes turned to girl with red hair as she spoke. "But please, just call me Roan. I am 19 years old, and I come from the Blazefirehothot dimension. My favorite color is green, my favorite animal is, of course, the dragon." She said, smiling softly at her dragon companion. "This is Snoof, by the way." She added, patting the creature on the head. "I enjoy eating most everything, but prefer sweets. My Mary-Sue powers include entering 'rage mode' whenever greatly upset. I have power over fire and can transform pieces of myself into that of a dragon, and can grow a pair of dragon wings, if need be. I am able to do this because I am the reincarnation of the fire priestess, Lady Burnselot. Some of my favorite hobbies are baking, sewing, dancing and dragon back riding. My past is nothing amazing. I was the daughter of a warrior in a world where women were not allowed to fight, so I ran away from home and joined the IMSDB as some form of childish revenge against my father, who was otherwise a good and kind man. The end."

There was a small, awkward pause before the girl with orange hair sighed. "Might as well get this over with. My name is Yu Nikorn, and I swear if you call me Unicorn, Yuey, or Korny I will punch your lights out. I'm 15 years old and come from the dimension known as Monstoria. My favorite color is either blood red or black, my favorite animal is the wolf, and I like meat... rare meat. My Mary-Sue powers include being unable to lose to almost anybody in a fight and I having spontaneous bouts of emo or Gothic depression for no apparent reason. My hobbies are listening to rock music, skateboarding and other epic stuff like that. I'm a cross between a werewolf and vampire, the two main warring races on my planet, and I have both of their strengths, which include super smelling, hearing, speed, strength, agility and sight as well some abilities that are related to blood. I am also a master pickpocket and thief. And I think I'll keep my past to myself." She added, her lips tugging into a smug smirk. "Next."

The girl with purple hair and cat ears rolled her eyes in obvious annoyance. "Fine. My name is Min Ature. I am 20 years old and come from a dimension called Gangsta. My favorite color is black, my favorite animal is cats, and I like meat. My Mary-Sue powers include being able to walk and fight in ridiculously high heels, being able to eat immense amounts of food without gaining any weight whatsoever, and befriend every cute, cuddly creature within a 10 mile radius." She glared down at Rose, who was rubbing its head against her hand and purring loudly. "My hobbies include motorcycle riding, target practicing... and that's about it. I'm a Neko-Human, and have some cat-like abilities, including excellent agility, climbing, speed, sense of smell, sight, etc I also am an excellent gunman and expert motorcyclist. I was raised in a mafia group who called themselves 'the Delinquents' and was one of their top fighters. Once I hit 16, they tried to force me into an arranged marriage with the mafia leaders son, who was a complete jerk, so I ran away from home and joined the IMSDB." She growled, shoving the cat who was trying to lick her face out of her lap. "Who's next?"

Silence. An awkward cough or two, then more silence.

The girl with pink eyes and green hair cleared her throat. "My name is Echo Echo Echo, and I-"

"Wait.. Your name is Echo... Echo Echo?" Asked Yu, raising and eyebrow. Ura copied the action, raising her brown as well.

"Yes, my name Echo Echo Echo."

"... Echo Echo Echo?" Min questioned.

"Echo Echo Echo." Confirmed Echo.

Soey giggled. "I think there's an echo echo echo in here."

"Yes, that would be _**me**_, Echo Echo Echo." Said the green haired woman, _almost _looking annoyed. "Now, as I was saying, my name is Echo and I come from a dimension known as Repeatsalot. I am 18 years of age and I do not have a favorite color, animal or food. My Mary-Sue powers include being good at something after only one of two attempts to master it. I'm an artificially created warrior, made for the purpose of being the 'perfect soldier' along with my other 'brothers and sisters'. I have also have enhanced speed, agility, strength, hearing and vision, as well as regeneration abilities. I have the power over Plants and am trained in martial arts as well as assassination. I do not have hobbies. As stated previously, I was created to be the ultimate warrior. After many... intense training sessions, the people who created me and my siblings began to fear us, believing we were too powerful to be controlled. They ordered out execution. I was the only one who was able to escape. An IMSDB officer found me shortly after and took me in." She explained in monotone.

The room grew quiet again. Sam lifted her head to find all eyes on her once more. Her cheeks turned pink. "M-me?" She squeaked. She fidgeted nervously. "I, uh, well... M-My name is Samantha Miester... B-but you can just call me Sam... B-b-but if you really want to call me Samantha, that's okay too... Um... I'm 10 year old and from the dimension Bliel... and this is my first mission as a Sue in training, by the way! Um... My favorite color is orange, I like most animals but my favorites are spiders... Oh, um... I also like pastries and sweet foods. Uh, I grew up with a normal loving family with no child abuse or anything like that. I... have no Mary-Sue powers... or any powers of any kind. I like to tinker and invent, but haven't really made anything amazing..." She was starting to grow even more nervous as all the girls, besides Argent, starting looking at Sam in utter surprise. They were undoubtedly wondering what a regular, horribly average kid who obviously wasn't at all like a Mary-Sue was doing here. She hung her head once again. "I'm only Argent's apprentice... The end."

She felt Argent's eyes watching her, but refused to meet the teenagers gaze. Argent probably was wondering why Sam didn't mention her disease or her brother. Well, in all honesty, Sam didn't like telling people about it. In fact, she was amazed she had even told Argent about it at all. She felt like whenever she spoke of her ailment, people felt sorry for her. She didn't like people pitying her. Sam took a deep breath and looked up at her friend.

Argent smirked, once again giving Sam a wink.

"Well, what about you?" Min asked the amethyst eyed teen, sounding impatient.

"My name is Argent Tina and I'm 15 years old."

...

...

...

"And?" Prodded Yu.

"And that's all I'd like to share." Said Argent with a shrug. "I'm not going to blab my entire life story and personal information to a bunch of complete strangers." Yu and Min both opened their mouths to argue, but Argent interrupted them before they could. "Now, why don't we spend the last 15 minutes of our time _usefully _and read about our new love interests, shall we?" She looked over at Sam, a glint of mischief in her eyes. "So Sam, who is _your _love interest?"

"Please don't say it like that." She whimpered, opening the file the Madame had given her. Argent positioned herself so she could read over the girls skinny shoulders. "Sasori?" She queered, reading the name on the file.

Sam nodded shakily. "Apparently he's kinda-sorta immortal. He _can _be killed, but it would be very hard too, and if he's not, he doesn't age and would live forever..."

The teen nodded her head. "Well, at least this isn't a romance mission, see? Says here you only need to BEFRIEND him."

Sam turned sheet white. "Uh-oh... Argent, it says here that Sasori-"

Soey squealed in delight at that exact moment, holding her file out at arms length. "O my Gandalf, my romance interest is h-o-t HOT!" She spun it around, proudly revealing a picture of a blonde ninja with almond shaped, blue eyes. His hair was done in a similar style as Echo's, but longer and in a pony tail. Beneath the picture of the ninja was the name 'Deidara'.

"And look at Ura's!" She blabbed, taking the file from her friends hands, once again showing it too the room. The boy was also blonde, but his hair was short and spiked in all directions. He had three whisker marks on each cheek and had deep blue eyes. The name beneath the picture read 'Naruto Uzumaki'. Ura gave the grinning blonde blank stare before shrugging her shoulders.

Min sighed. "My guy looks so... _boring._" She revealed a picture of a man with black hair tied into a small, low pony tail, matching black eyes and a blank expression on his face. His name was Itachi Uchiha. "He's good looking enough, but has no personality! He's like the meat without the barbeque sauce!"

Roan looked slightly displeased with her's as well. "At least your guy wears a shirt." She said, showing them a picture of a shirtless, well built man with violet eyes and sleeked back, silver hair. 'Hidan' was typed neatly underneath the picture. "Why do I always get the shirtless macho types?" She sighed forlornly.

Echo gave her file an emotionless look. "My guy looks a bit... odd." She said, holding out her file for all to see. The man had silver hair that spiked upward and to the side. He wore a blue, skintight mask similar to Ura's that covered all of this face, save for his right eye. His name was 'Kakkashi Hatake.'

"He looks like he's half asleep." Commented the cat girl.

"I have an emo." Yu announced, a devilish smirk in place as she revealed a boy her age with red hair, sea foam green eyes, black circles around said eyes, and a red tattoo on his forehead. His name was 'Gaara'. The orange haired girl looked over at Argent. "Well? Are you going to share?" She asked.

"Sure." She said simply, holding out the picture. Sam nearly laughed at the boys haircut; it looked like the back-side of a chicken! He had cold, black eyes and matching black hair. His name was 'Sasuke Uchiha'. Argent looked back down at the folder, a small frown on her face. "He's a jerk."

Sam blinked. "Why do you think that?"

"I can tell just by looking at him." Said Argent, narrowing her eyes slightly. "He's an egotistical, emo, revenge happy, duck-butt hair styled, Gary-Sue incarnate."

Sam's lips curved downward ever-so-slightly. "Maybe he won't be that bad."

"I'm pretty good at reading people, Sam." Argent sighed with a roll of her eyes. "You're lucky. At least the guy you have to befriend looks somewhat tolerable."

The girl's eyes widened suddenly. "Argent! About Sasori, there's something I need to tell-"

There was a loud pop and a plume of smoke filled the room. The girls chocked and gagged, waving the sickeningly sweet smelling smog from their faces. It soon disappeared, revealing Madame Mary-Sue. She was holding a large cardboard box, grinning in a slightly insane looking way. She dropped the box roughly onto the ground, causing the contents to hiss from within. "That should be all! Just add water! Good luck!" With that, she disappeared once again.

...

...

...

Argent blanched, looking down at the cardboard box before slapping her forehead in frustration. "She _didn't_."

"She didn't what?" Sam asked, feeling more confused than before.

Argent stomped over to the box, reaching inside and pulled out a silver-furred kitten by the scruff of it's neck. The feline hissed, trying to swipe at Argent with it's paws. "Madame Mary-Sue oh-so kindly turned our ninjas into kittens."

"How-how did she do that...?" She asked, giving the cat that was hissing and growling in Argent's grip a curious look.

The one in question shrugged. "I have no idea." Sighing, she put the kitten back down into the box. "I suppose this way it'll be easier to inform them of their situation without worrying about getting killed."

"K-killed?"

Argent nodded, obviously unconcerned. She picked up the cardboard box and handed to Sam. "Why don't you take these guys upstairs? We'll give them some time to cool off then tell them exactly why they're here."

"M-me?" She squeaked for the second time that day, taking the box into her arms.

"You can take Dave with you, if it makes you feel any better." Said Argent, taking off her necklace and putting it around Sam's neck. She waved her off. Swallowing thickly, Sam slowly turned around and started walking towards the stairs, mentally begging that Argent would change her mind and call Sam back. It wasn't until she was upstairs, with a randomly chosen bedroom door closed behind her, that it occurred to her that she had been left alone with eight ninja kittens, who were in reality full grown, super powered men.

Crap.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"So, what are we going to do?" Argent asked, surveying the obnoxiously pretty girls that sat before her.

"What do you mean 'what are we going to do'?" Min asked. "We're going to turn them back into ninja's, romance them and move on. That's what we always do." She spoke the last bit with a hint of disgust in her tone, surprising Argent. Did Min... not like being a Sue?

"True. But, do we tell _them _that. They could have a freak out session, and that wouldn't end well."

Roan decided to speak. "Well, we can't keep it from them forever. They'll find out one way or another."

Yu scoffed, leaning back and putting her hands behind her head. "You know, this 'being a Mary-Sue' thing is a royal pain in the ass. Seriously, what's the _point _of romancing these guys anyway?"

Argent braced herself, expected the group of girls to gasp. To yell at Yu for her blatant disregard for their 'noble' profession as Mary-Sues. But, once again to her shock. No one said anything. The all just looked away, nervously fidgeting with their clothing or staring at the floor or walls with downcast expressions.

"Do... any of you like being Mary-Sues?" Argent prodded carefully, so as not to arouse any unwanted confrontation.

Roan chewed her lip. "To be honest... " She swallowed. "I don't."

"I'd like to travel the worlds of my own free will." Added Soey, a grin on her face. "Not that I don't appreciate all the cute boys, but being a Mary-Sue is so restrictive when it comes to travel... even hobbies!"

Min snorted in agreement. "You're telling me! I wanted to train to become a mechanic, but the IMSDB denying my request when I asked for teaching in that field. Apparently, that's not 'where my time would be best invested'."

"I find the Mary-Sue position to be horribly distasteful." Echo said, looking down at the carpet. "You're basically a slut or whore who gets paid to break hearts."

"Ura agrees." Said Soey, patting her good friend on the shoulder. Ura nodded solemnly.

Argent caught herself before she let her mouth gap open like an idiot. _**None **_of these girls wanted to be Mary-Sues? The concept was, as Dave would put it, unfathomable! She had never before met one female who disliked being a Sue, and now she meets 6 in the same day? What were the chances of that?

Then, and idea came to her. It was so terribly brilliant, so horribly mind blowing she wondered if it would be possible to pull off. A smirk made it's way on her lips.

"Hey girls, I have a plan..."

**.**

**.**

**.**

Sam stared down at the box of kittens.

...

...

...

The box of kittens stared up at Sam

...

...

...

"Well," Sam spoke, rubbing the back of her neck. "This is awkward..."

One of the yellow kittens nodded in agreement. She couldn't help but wonder which ninja it was, since there were two blonde ninjas, Deidara and Naruto.

The smaller black kitten hissed at the larger, nearly identical looking ebony one. It pounced, and the two started to fight.

"H-hey! Stop that! I thought it was girls who got into cat fights!" Sam yelped, failing her arms madly. Several kittens made snickering noises. Using her metal arm, so her flesh and blood one didn't get scratched to pieces, Sam picked up the large kitten by the scruff of it's neck, cradling it in the crook of her metallic arm and against her chest. She looked down at the smaller one, putting her free hand on her hip, her stern expression faltering under the small kittens murderous gaze. "L-look, I understand that you're... upset a-about being kittens. But please bare with us! We'll change you back soon... I hope."

The kitten apparently didn't like being scolded by a ten year-old and glared even harder at her. Sam cursed her own cowardice. She was being intimidated by a cute little ball of fluff for Ipaia's sake!

"Grow some backbone woman! Show that feline who is in charge around here!" Boomed Dave, making Sam nearly jump three feet into the air. She had forgotten he was with her.

The kittens, all looking a bit startled and confused, looked to her for explanation.

"Um.. this is Dave." She said, pointing to the necklace. "He's.. um..."

"I AM DAETHUS! THE ARMAGEDDON VANQUISHER OF ETERNITY!" He crowed to the room, his voice filled with pride. The eye on the pendant opened, revealing his emerald green eye to the kittens, who looked more flabbergasted than before.

"H-he's my friends demon sword." Sam stuttered for lack of better explanation.

"Psh... evil belongs to no man!... Or woman!"

"O-oh, sorry." She mumbled.

"Backbone, woman! Backbone! You're as easy to walk on as a doormat!"

"Sor-"

"Do not apologize!"

She firmly pressed her lips together, keeping her mouth shut. She would not apologize, she would not apologize, she would not apologize, she would not-

"Sam! Did you hear me?! I said you can bring down the kittens now!" Argent called from below.

"Sorry!"

"Sam!" Dave snapped. Hers eye widened.

"Sorry Dave! Oh, I didn't mean to say that! Sor-"

"Just.. just go." Sighed the demon sword, his eye closing.

Sam managed to pick up the box and still keep her grip on the black kitten as she walked back down the stairs. She really wished they'd stop snickering at her, it wasn't polite. She entered the living room; Argent and the other six Sues were looking oddly pleased with themselves. She set the box on the floor, but kept the one kitten in her grip just in case the other one started fighting with it again.

Argent, ever the one to take charge, stepped closer to the box so the kittens inside could get a good view of her. "I'm going to make a deal with you. If you guys promise not to cause any damage, or attempt to harm us or each other in any way, we'll turn you back into your regular selves and explain just exactly what's going on and how we're going to send you back home. If we change you back to normal, and you break our deal, we'll turn you back into kittens. You have thirty seconds to deduced the logical conclusion and listen to what we have to say." She said, raising an eyebrow at the kittens as the mewed quietly between themselves.

"Have you decided yet?" Asked the ebony haired girl after 30 seconds passed. The kittens all looked begrudgingly at her, before nodding their heads simultaneously.

"All right then. I suppose we can change you back now." She said.

"I'll go get some water." Said Min, standing from her place on the couch.

Soey hopped up, beaming brightly. "No need! Watch this! _Raina-spotufia!"_ She outstretched her hands...

And it started to pour rain. Electing shrieks from some of the girls. Min stomped over, her high heel boots sloshing comically as she did, and smacked Soey upside the head. "You _idiot_!" She hissed, cat ears flat against her head and her hair looking less like a curtain of silky and more like a messy pile of spaghetti. Sam nearly giggled. "I _**hate **_water!" Min growled, her cat-like teeth showing .

"Whoops."

Once again, there were eight loud pops and poofs of smoke filled the room. The rain stopped and the smoke began to clear. Once it had evaporated, it revealed eight, stark naked as the day they were born males, standing in the middle of the living room.

And, to make things even better, Sam found her arm now wrapped around the waist of a nude Itachi Uchiha...

...

...

...

She screamed, releasing him and stumbling back several feet. She covered her eyes with her hands and spewed out every apology she knew under the sun, her entire face, neck and ears turning dark red.

"Well, this was unexpected." She heard Echo say in her usual monotone.

"What the % $# are you looking at & %?" Swore one man. If Sam's hands weren't busy covering her eyes, she would have plugged her ears.

"Don't flatter yourself, I've seen plenty of naked men before, you ain't nothing special." Min drawled.

"What did you-"

"Sasori no Dana, you're alive un!"

"Obviously, brat."

"Gaara! Sasuke! You're both here too?"

"Yes."

"Hn."

"May we have some clothes so we can discuss our... situation further?" Asked a calm voice.

"I agree with Kakashi Sensei!"

"I don't know, I kinda like all these hot guys nu-"

"Soey, if you dare finish that sentence I _will _kill you." Min hissed

"You're still upset about the water incident, aren't you?"

"I can't say I'm particularly fond of it either." Roan said.

"If it makes you feel any better, I dislike water as much as you, mortal woman with hair red as a thousand roses."

"...Who said that?" Asked Yu.

"IT WAS I! DAETHUS! THE ARM-"

"Madame Mary-Sue probably left some upstairs." Argent said, answering Kakashi's previous question and interrupting Dave's rant in one fell swoop.

"I'LL GET THEM!" Sam offered, her voice slightly high-pitched. Removing her hands from her eyes, she dashed out of the room before anyone else could offer in her place.

As she nearly flew up the stairs, she could have sworn she heard Itachi chuckle.

_Author's Note:_

_Wow... that was a long chapter, well, for me anyway . _

_So, the Naruto guys make their __appearance__! Finally!_

_Thank you Autumn-is-beautiful, blackcatgirl, ezcap1st, TheAvalonianFromOverTheRainb ow, and TwilightXGoddess for your reviews!_

_If anyone has any questions they'd like ask, ideas they'd like to input, or anything like that, let me know._

_Please review ^^_

_All tips, comments and critiques are welcome if anyone is willing to offer it._

_I appreciate any help I can get with my writing :)_


	6. Chapter 05 The Deal The Plan and The In-

M.A.R.Y.S.U.E.S.

Chapter 05

The Deal, The Plan and The Insanity

**.**

**.**

**.**

"_When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."_

Mark Twain

**.**

**.**

**.**

Things hadn't died down any since Sam's absence. In fact, the young girl was entirely convinced that sanity decided to take a nose-dive off of a cliff. She stood for a while, watching the room with curious eyes as Hidan and Soey quarreled with each other; what made it even more entertaining was that all of the ninja's were wearing curtains in the Earth equivalent fashion of Greek togas.

Sam couldn't quite make out what Soey said to Hidan at that moment, but whatever it was made him roar angrily and lunge at the blonde. Soey let out a startled 'eep' and jumped back, using the couch as a barrier between them. Were it not for her perfect Mary-Sue reflexes, Hidan would have caught her easily.

"You _peanut butter and jelly sandwich_!" He screamed his face red with anger. Sam felt all her thoughts grind to a halt.

…Peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

"I am going to _applesaucing _kill you!" He continued, gritting his teeth as the word 'applesaucing' slipped past his lips.

Sam blinked… Applesaucing?

"It's just a simple tonuge-tieing spell!" Soey huffed, indignant. "We can't have you swearing so much in front of Sam! She's only ten!"

The child admittedly felt flattered that Soey was going to such lengths to try and preserve her innocence; though she wished the witch would have done it in such a way where it didn't provoke Hidan's wrath.

"_Spaghetti _you!"

Sam gulped, taking a deep yet shaky breath. She entered the room fully and cleared her throat, drawing all eyes to her. "I-I have your c-clothes." She stuttered, making sure to avoid eye contact, especially from Itachi. She wondered if she'd ever be able to look at him again after what happened a few short minutes ago.

They stared a little while longer and Sam could feel her cheeks begin to turn pink.

"Well, do not stand there gawking like the village idiot!" Dave snapped from around Sam's neck. "You are all warriors, are you not? You cannot battle garbed in nothing but window draperies! Come! Receive your apparel!"

Yes, Sam was sure her face resembled a full ripe tomato now. _'Oh, Impaia I want to die.' _She groaned inwardly; reminding herself to return Argent's eccentric demon sword to her ASAP.

"Who-WHAT is that?" Deidara asked, voicing the question many probably wanted to know.

"I AM DAETHUS – girly looking man who I do not know the name of – THE ARMAGEDON VANQUISHER OR ETERNITY!"

Said, 'girly looking' man's eyes narrowed menacingly at the sword as he took a step closer. "Who did you just call-"

"Dave…" Argent sighed, much like a tired parent. "You're not helping."

"You never appreciate my help, woman!" The sword whined, every inch of the child Argent was treating him as.

She turned to Deidara. "Just ignore him. He's a useless, mentally insane toothpick."

"I am not a picker of teeth, wench!" Dave hissed, the emerald eye on Sam's necklace was surrounded by an emerald flame. "They are a picker of me!"

"...That doesn't even make any sense." Yu spoke, raising an orange eyebrow at the pendant. Argent let out a long-suffering sigh, and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Evil does not have to make sense to the weak, mortal mind!"

"Can we just get dressed now?" Interrupted Naruto, who was extremely embarrassed and highly uncomfortable with nothing besides a curtain around his waist in a room full of his enemies and young, pretty girls.

"Bathrooms are upstairs, three doors down on your left." Min informed the poor blonde boy.

Naruto thanked her, took his clothes from the blushing Sam and ran up the stairs with Hidan, Deidara, Itachi, Kakashi, Sasori, Gaara and Sasuke following not too far behind

"Remind me to burn those curtains once this is over." Roan requested, turning to Soey, who merely giggled in reply.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"What do you think is taking them so looooong?" Yu whined pitifully from her upside down position on the large black sofa.

Echo shrugging her shoulders "You know how the male gender is with mirrors."

The orange haired half-vampire girl blinked twice. "What?"

"You know how the male gender is with mirrors." The dark-skinned girl repeated. "Men are naturally vain, self-serving creatures, therefore, when they catch a glimpse of their own reflection, in their own vanity and pride they cannot bring themselves to leave it." Her slightly bitter tone didn't go unnoticed.

Min snorted from her place next to Yu. "Sounds more like a thing Madame Mary-Sue would do if you ask me."

"I dunno. Gary-Stu's take forever when they're doing their hair. It takes time for them to get it so perfectly spiked." Soey commented, lying on her stomach on the living room floor, kicking her legs back and forth while absentmindedly stroking Tulip; Rose slept soundly on her back.

"...And you know this how?" Yu questioned, raising an orange eyebrow,

A small, lecherous grin made its way onto the blonde girl's face. "No reason~"

Ura gave her friend a reproachful look, then shook her white haired head sadly as if there was no use in even trying anymore. Soey beamed innocently at her.

"Should one of us go up and check on them?" Min finally asked after a long pause.

Yu bolted upright, raising her hand eagerly into the air like a child in class who knew the answer to a difficult question. "Oh, oh, I vote Sam does it!"

The child, who was doing her best to remain unnoticed on the large red bean bag, blanched. "W-why me?" She barely managed to squeak.

"You're the most entertaining." The orange haired vampire/werewolf explained, a large grin on her face.

Blushing even deeper, Sam shot a pleading look toward Argent, who was leaning against the wall, arms folded and eyes closed.

"Alright, stopping picking on her." Roan reprimanded Yu before giving the shy girl a soft, reassuring smile. Sam instantly relaxed.

The scolded one huffed, crossing her ridiculously pale arms. "Kill joy." She muttered under her breath.

"But really, the guys should have been down by now." Min interjected, her cat tail ticking back and forth in annoyance of being ignored. Snoof was crouched down next to it, swatting its scaly paws at the furry appendage. The cat girl glared at the miniature dragon, grabbing her own tail and pulling it out of his reach.

Soey hummed thoughtfully, tapping her index finger against her cheek. "Maybe they were abducted by aliens..."

"Aliens?" Min and Yu repeated dryly.

"M-hm." The blonde yawned.

"You do realize," Echo began slowly. "That technically, we're all considered 'aliens' in this world, since we don't originate from here…"

Soey gasped dramatically. "Then I was _right_!" She exclaimed, earning disbelieving stares from the rest of the group. Ura sighed heavily through the nose.

There was another long, quiet pause.

…

…

…

"Hey," Yu began, looking thoughtful. "who do you think is going to die first?"

"Huh?" Roan asked, blinking several times.

"Die?!" Sam squeaked, pulling her knees to her chest.

"Well, there's no way we'll _all _survive this, so who do you think is going to die first?" The vampire tapped her chin thoughtfully. "That Naruto guy looks a little wimpy..."

"You don't think it'll be one of us who dies?" Echo asked, cocking her head slightly at the vampire.

"Mary-Sue's can't die..." Roan sighed, stroking her dragon pet on its head as it curled up in her lap. "Unless it creates drama for the Sue's love interest... or if the Mary-Sue can be revived."

"Don't remind me." Min groaned. "I've died and been revived 8 times in my Mary-Sue career."

Yu grinned roguishly, leaning back on the palms of her hands. "That means you're down to your last life then, huh kitty?"

"Something like that." The cat woman replied, casting the orange haired vampire a withering glare. "50 bucks says that Hidan dies first though; his loud, obnoxious mouth is bound to make him some enemies."

"Done!" Yu shouted quickly, her blood red eyes practically dancing with mischief.

" U-Um..." Sam stuttered. "D-Didn't it say o-on Hi-Hidan's pr-profile that h-he's immortal?"

"He is?" Min asked, thinking a moment before her cat-like eyes widened in shock "I thought his file said 'immoral'! Damn, that bet doesn't count!" She hissed at Yu, who was cackling madly, clutching her ribs.

"No takesies-backsies!" She chortled, her lips pulling back to reveal wickedly sharp teeth.

Min let out a roar of outrage, lunging at the half-werewolf half-vampire.

"You're both horrible." Roan sighed with exasperation. Watching the two wrestle on the couch.

"I think Deidara would die first." Soey mused looking up at the ceiling, ignoring the chaos happening on the couch. "He seems to be the type to die young..." She looked over at Ura, who met her gaze steadily. "Ura thinks so too."

"If my calculations are correct, Sasuke would be most likely to die first. He seems to have no allies here making him the easiest target." Echo added, her voice void of any emotion.

"Not you too." Roan sighed yet again, hanging her head. She paused, thinking. "Though, I do agree with Echo; Sasuke doesn't seem to have any friends here, making him more vulnerable…"

"C-Can we stop t-talking about who-who'll die first... please?" The youngest in the room requested weakly_. 'Because it's very likely to be me…'_

Yu rolled her eyes from the head-lock position Min held her in, scoffing at Sam. "You are such a sissy." But no one in the room continued discussing the previous topic any further and everything fell into another awkward silence.

Sam cast a glance over at her teacher, who still hadn't budged an inch from her previous position. Frowning, she wondered what Argent could be thinking so deeply about. Purple eyes opened, looking over at the curious child without turning her head. Argent stood, pulling away from the wall

"I'll go up and-"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"

Seven of the eight girls nearly jumped out of their skins as a loud, angry voice boomed above them. Argent, the only calm one, groaned and slapped a hand over her eyes, grumbling a few profanities under her breath as the entertaining shouting match continued.

"I SAID EXACTLY WHAT YOU _CHEESEBURGERING _THINK YOU HEARD!"

"IT'S NOT HIS FAULT YOU HAVE AN UGLY FACE, UN!"

"WELL AT LEAST I DON'T LOOK LIKE A GIRL!"

"TAKE THAT BACK!"

"HAHA! HE'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY DO LOOK LIKE_ PASTRAMING _GIRL!"

"...PASTRAMI GIRL?"

"SH-SHUT UP! IT'S THAT _CORNBREADING MUSTARD's _FAULT!"

"THAT'S REALLY REALLY LAME, UN!"

"YOU WANNA FIGHT, GOLDY LOCKS!?"

"KATSU!"

"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"

"_PANCAKE_ YEAH! BRING IT LOSERS!"

An explosion shook the entire house, cracking the plaster on the ceiling and most likely causing a tremor for several blocks. A loud crash and four loud pops ensued. Argent bolted toward the stairwell, the other girls hot on her heels. She rounded the corner to the stairs, and before the purple-eyed Mary-Sue could even blink, she was hit with a face full of fluff, knocking her onto her backside. The amethyst eyed teen growled in obvious agitation, peeling the fluff-ball off of her face. Glaring at it, she realized that this particular bundle of fuzz was Sasuke Uchiha, her partner.

Soey's hysterical giggling jarred her from her musings. Tucking the Uchiha under her arm, she looked up the stairwell. Kakashi had one yellow kitten (Naruto, she believed) by the knap of its neck, its furry paws failing madly, trying desperately to get at the other yellow kitten that Sasori held (she assumed that one must've been Deidara). The silver feline (Hidan) was being held upside down not-so-gently-by-the-tail by Itachi.

"What happened?" Roan was bold enough to ask as they reached to top of the stairs, taking in all eight ninja's appearances. Several were covered in sheet-rock dust and bits of plaster. Itachi was covered in a substance that looked like mud, and both he and the kitten Hidan, for reasons none of the girls could comprehend, looked like they'd been stuck by lightning.

"There was a slight scuffle in the bathroom." Kakashi supplied with a casual shrug and a one-eyed smile.

"'Scuffle'**?" **Min scoffed, her tail twitching. "Puh-lease, it looks like World War 3 took place in here." She peered inside the bathroom, everything inside was charred black, and there was a man-sized hole in the wall that gave everyone a wonderful view of the muddy backyard.

"Tasteless art." Sasori muttered glaring down at the golden-haired kitten that was clenched firmly in his hand. The kitten hissed in reply before sulking shamelessly

"You're covered in mud." Echo pointed out, looking the oldest Uchiha up and down. "And your hair..." She gestured to the messy black mop that currently looked like a porcupine that accidently got its tail stuck in an outlet.

"Hn." Was the only reply he gave, meeting Echo's pink stare icily. It would have been so much more intimidating, if it were not for the mud that dripped off his hair and onto his nose at that very moment.

Kakashi decided to be to one to clear things up. "Deidara's bomb blast knocked him and Hidan through the wall and into the back yard." He explained. "But, when he was nearly over the fence and almost into the other neighbor's yard..."

"He hit the barrier." Argent finished. "It surrounds the entire property, making sure nothing unpleasant can get in... or out."

"Ah, yes, you said you'd answer our questions once we were clothed?" Kakashi asked rather politely, given the circumstances.

The teen blinked owlishly when everyone in the room turned to her. She suppressed a sigh. Why was she automatically nominated leader? Sure, it was originally her plan, but she figured somebody like Min or Yu would try to take charge; both seemed to be the bossy type. Maybe they just didn't want to risk their own necks in case things did not go the way she hoped.

Argent cleared her throat, carefully keeping her face as expressionless as possible. "Alright then, shoot."

"...Shoot?" Gaara asked, perplexed.

"Um, ask away." She amended, reminding herself that people from different worlds didn't always use the same phrases.

"Where are we?" Itachi asked. Though it was a question, it sounded much more like a demand.

"That's easy!" Soey grinned, nearly shoving Argent aside to be closer to the hot-guy covered in drying mud. "You're in the world Perfectious."

There was a pause before the white-haired man inquired. "What country is 'Perfectious' in?"

"What do you mean by 'country'?" Argent asked slowly, her bows furrowing in confusion

"Are we in Earth Country, Wind Country...?" He trailed

"None of those. You're in a different dimension." She watched as the ninja's kept their faces carefully blank, though she could see a little confusion lurking in them._ 'They have no idea what dimensions are.'_ The purple-eyed teen lamented. "Well," She sighed. "This just got a little more difficult. Okay. Dimensions are, in essence, altered copies of your world. Ones that you can't travel to through the means of physical transportation. You can only travel between them by using portals, or, if you're born with an ability to cross dimensions, you can travel that way; like Madame Mary-Sue, the woman who kidnapped you all and took you here." She girl took a deep breath. "But enough about that; As I was saying before, you're here. Very far away from home with no means to get back. This may surprise you, but we're," She gestured to the girls. "Just as stuck here as you are

Roan decided to interject at this point. "We are known as 'Mary-Sues' who work for an organization called the IMSDB, Interdimensonal Mary-Sue Distribution Bureau." When the red pyrotechnic received nothing but blank stares, Min decided to join in.

"A Mary-Sue is basically a flawless, beautiful girl with a tragic past, amazing powers and everyone she meets either loves and feels sorry for her, or hates her for unknown and unjust reasons. The IMSDB sends Mary-Sues to different dimensions to..._romance_, the male who they have selected for the Sue."

"You guys are here so we can make you fall madly in love with us!" Soey chirped happily.

…

…

…

Min sighed and cuffed the golden-haired girl on the back of the head. "Idiot."

"What did I do?" She whined, rubbing the back of her injured cranium.

Ura closed her eyes and shook her head.

"You know, if you wanted male company, you could have just asked. There's no need to take such desperate measures." Kakashi offered graciously.

Min's jaw dropped open, her eyes the size of basketballs at his very suggestive… suggestion "Wh-what!? No! We are not that desperate for-! Guys come crawling to _us _on their hands and knees!" She growled, her lips pulling back into a cat-like snarl.

"ANYWAY." Argent snapped, raising her voice before an argument could break. "That. is. not. The. Point. Here. You see, we're under a life-binding contract with these people, who, in a way,

tricked us into becoming Mary-Sues. So, we have to do whatever they say. If we don't we'll either be put under house arrest, be thrown into prison or possibly executed."

"And why is that our problem?" Sasori asked tonelessly.

"It's not." Roan admitted. "But, if we don't try to _romance_ you all, the IMSDB will just get girls who will, and that'll be a problem for you, because not only will you be unable to leave, you will probably end up falling for a Sue. Before you protest, let me explain. Sues have a... power of sorts; a power that makes males fall head-over-heels for them. You wouldn't really have a choice."

"And you simply expect us-" Sasori began, an eyebrow raised. "-to believe this without any evidence supporting that claim?" He nearly scoffed.

Argent arched an eyebrow, mirroring Sasori's facial expression. "You want proof?" She asked. "Okay then."

She slowly walked over towards him, her hips swaying gracefully. Sam immediate recognized the 'sexy walk' that Argent had been trying to teach her the other night.

The Mary-Sue stopped about a foot away from the puppet master; Sasori's fingers twitched, but he was otherwise calm.

"Sasori." Argent said, her tone completely flat a void of all emotion.

Dropping Deidara onto the floor, he moved forward.

Sam barely suppressed a gasp when he grabbed both of Argent's hands and…

… Held them over his heart?

"Argent." He spoke in a gentle, loving tone that made the kitten Deidara's jaw drop. "I've only known you for a short while, but, in the few minutes I've known you, you've made me feel more alive than I ever had before in my entire life." Sasori looked deeply into Argent's eyes, moving his face closer toward hers. His lips were nearly touching hers…

"No!"

The object of Sasori's affections was ripped away from him. Argent looked less than surprised to see that it was Sasuke who pulled her into a protective embrace.

"Sasuke, weren't you a kitten just a minute ago…?" Kakashi asked, blinking his visible eye twice.

"My love is stronger than miniscule plot devices!" Sasuke replied haughtily, pulling Argent even closer to him.

"…Plot devices?"

"Unhand her!" Sasori bellowed, pointing at Sasuke threatingly. "Argent is my true love, and mine alone!" He sneered at Sasuke. "A mere _boy_ couldn't possibly understandher needs!"

Sasuke stood in front of his beloved, taking a battle position. "If you want her, you'll have to go through me."

Sasori took a battle position as well. "With pleasure."

"Wow." Min spoke, awestruck. "She really is as good as they say."

Sam looked up at the cat-woman, perplexed. "As-as good as who says?"

"Everybody." Min replied with a shrug of the shoulders, watching the two ninjas continued in their highly out-of-character, witless banter. "Argent is famous within the IMSDB, she's one of the top Sues out there… probably only second to Madame Mary-Sue actually. I've heard stories that she can charm a man with little to no effort, but _damn_." She let out a low whistle. "She didn't even have to say 'Sasori' in a sweet, endearing or seductive way… hell, she didn't even say Sasuke's name and he's fallen head over heels."

"She's really that good?" Sam asked.

"Rumor has it there's only one box on the Mary-Sue Questionnaire that she didn't check."

The young girl turned, watching her teacher in a whole new light. She knew Argent was a good Mary-Sue but… she didn't know she was _that _talented…

It wasn't until Itachi entered the ring, claiming that he and he alone was Argent's true love that the fighting started. Sasuke lunged at his older brother, but before his fist could even make contact with his cheek, there was a loud popping noise and Sasuke was immediately transformed back into a black kitten.

Argent scooped him up by the scruff of neck before Sasori or Itachi could snap the small creature in two. The girl took one large step back. "Sasori. Itachi." She repeated in the same flat tone as before.

Both the he puppet master and the older Uchiha watched her a moment before his eyes widened in horror.

Sasori took a step backwards, scowling at the young girl. "She speaks the truth." He nearly growled; anger radiating off of him in waves.

"What you experienced just now is called OOCD or Out of Character Disorder." Argent explained. "As the name dictates, when you have OOCD you'll act almost the complete opposite of your own personal character. The effect it has on the one the Sue is trying to romance depends on the strength of the Mary-Sue."

"Hn, how troublesome." Itachi commented.

Argent sighed. "That's exactly what I said when I got these powers."

Yu clapped and rubbed her hands together. "Not that, that wasn't entertaining and all, but back to the subject at hand, people! Now, we're going to offer you guys a once in a lifetime opportunity to not only get home, but to also keep any more Mary-Sues from romancing you, entering your world, or taking you to ours." She looked over at Argent, giving the girl the heads up to speak her plan.

Argent nodded. "We want you guys to help us fail our mission by not falling in love with us. If we flunk, the IMSDB will not only fire us, but they will send you home and take your world off the Network."

"The 'Network'?" Gaara asked.

"You know, the television network."

Once again, more blank stares.

"You don't have television?" Yu dead panned, receiving even_ more_ blank stares. She threw her hands into the air. "For the love of Edward Cullen! Have you been living under a rock the past one hundred years!?"

"How horrible!" Soey sobbed, tears forming in her eyes. "Imagine life... without TV!"

Ura nodded solemnly in agreement; for without their favorite cartoon shows, the world would become a bleak, desolate, _meaningless _void that held no purpose.

Argent sighed heavily. "How do I explain television?" She grumbled. "Um... it's... well."

"T-Television is like w-watching recorded, moving pictures." Sam spoke softly, blushing when attention turned towards her. "U-um, the IMSDB s-send out small robotic-er-insects t-to capture these m-moving pictures from y-your lives, then s-send them to a-all the other un-universes... Right Argent?" She asked, giving her teacher a small, nervous glance

"Yeah, that pretty much covers it. Madame Mary-Sue is in charge of all the channels. She chooses what worlds she finds entertaining, films them, and broadcasts the 'shows' all across the known dimensions." Argent explained, a small feeling of pride welling in her chest at her own pupils boldness.

"So, if we help you by not becoming… 'attracted' to you, not only will we sent home, but your world will stop 'broadcasting' ours?" Kakashi asked, giving the girls a serious look. "Am I right?"

"Yes." Roan said with a nod. "I know you all probably find this hard to believe - I don't think I would if I was in your situation - but you don't have much of a choice right now. Either you work with us, or let some other Mary-Sues who don't want to fail have a go at you. Besides, our solution is the quickest way to get you home." She smiled apologetically.

There was a small pause of silence. Finally, Gaara spoke, keeping his tone carefully even. "It doesn't seem like we have much of a choice in the matter."

"Unfortunately." Min sighed, crossing her arms over her large chest.

"So, do we have a deal?" Argent asked, also crossing her arms.

Sasori and Itachi glanced at each other. "We would like to discuss the proposition with our comrades." Sasori spoke, still giving the girl a wary glance. Argent mentally shrugged; she couldn't blame him.

Kakashi nodded his head in agreement, casting a look down at the furry Naruto. "We'll cooperate for now."

Gaara nodded his head slightly in agreement

Argent gave a small shrug. "Guess that's the best we can hope for, for now."

Now that the matter seemed temporarily settled, Soey bounded forward, grinning like a Cheshire cat, jabbing a thumb at her chest. "My name is Soey, by the way." She introduced. "This is Argent, Min, Echo, Ura, Roan, Yu and Sam." She pointed to each girl in turn.

"And you are Kakashi, Sasori, Hidan, Itachi, Gaara, Naruto, Sasuke and Deidara, right?"

She received eight slightly bewildered nods of the head. Most of the men tensed slightly into battle positions when her grin widened to the point it threatened to swallow her face. After all, grins that large in their world usually meant psychotic murderers; Orochimaru was an excellent example.

Argent yawned. "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm beat. Why don't we get some sleep and talk a little more about our plan in the morning?" Not even waiting for a reply, she handed Sasuke over to Echo and grabbed Sam by her upper arm. "Well, goodnight!" She called, vanishing up the staircase with her pupil in tow before anyone got the chance to argue. She'd done enough talking for one century, thank-you-very-much, and if the guys tried to tear each other apart while she slept well, that was their problem.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Echo wondered how she got herself into this mess. Or perhaps, to be more accurate, she wondered how she let herself get into it. Perhaps if she'd been a little faster in getting to her bedroom like Argent, or perhaps if she'd offered to fix the bathroom like Soey and Ura, or maybe if she'd thought of burning the curtains like Roan had, or claiming she need a cat-nap like Min, or flat out refusing like Yu she wouldn't be here right now in this incredibly awkward situation. You see, it seems only Mary-Sues can change kittens back into ninjas.

Looking as emotionlessly as she could down at the four mischievous fluffballs, she wondered who would be the best choice to turn back into a ninja first. Echo knew that none of them could hurt her, lest they be turned back into kittens, but she'd rather save the difficult ones for last. She wondered where the other ninja's got off to. Did none of them care about their comrades? Well, it was true that Kakashi was waiting in the living room for Naruto...

Naruto. Big grin, innocent looking eyes and spoke as though the others around him were deaf. He seemed friendly at least. Taking the glass of water she held in her hands, she carefully dripped a single drop of water onto the gold kitten's nose. The familiar loud pop followed by a plume of smoke filled the kitchen. Thankfully, when it cleared, it revealed a fully clothed young, spiky blonde teen boy.

Echo paused mid-thought; did that mean Madame Mary-Sue stripped the boys before turning them into kittens? Echo suppressed a shudder.

"Hey, thanks!" Naruto's cheery voice jarred the green haired girl out of her wandering thoughts. The woman stared at him, unsure of how to answer. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, the future Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village!" He announced, jerking his thumb at himself proudly.

Echo blinked twice at this, she really had no idea what a Hokage was, so she felt she could not give him the appropriate response.

"So what's your name?"

She was fairly sure she'd already been introduced by Soey. Perhaps Naruto had a short-term memory? Either way he was starting to look at her strangely, so she answered. "My name is Echo Echo Echo."

Naruto blinked his strikingly blue eyes. "...Echo Echo Echo?"

"Yes. Echo Echo Echo."

"... ... Echo Echo Echo?"

"Yes."

"Echo Echo E-"

The green-haired woman held up her hand to halt him. "Yes. My first, middle and last name is Echo." She explained tonelessly. Honestly, was her name really that strange? It sounded much better than Naruto Uzumonkey in her opinion and it was easier to remember, since her first, middle and last name was the same.

"...Oh."

Before the blonde could open his mouth once more, Echo decided to ask. "Do you have any recommendations as to who I should turn human next?" He ought to know them better than she did, she summarized.

"Uh, well Deidara's a complete jerk." The boy spoke with great conviction, earning a hiss from the golden kitten on the kitchen floor. "And Hidan's in the Akatsuki, so he's probably just as bad... Teme might be okay."

Teme? Echo blinked, trying to process the name. She knew not this 'Teme' of which Naruto spoke of. The look on her face must have been evident, because Naruto quickly clarified. "Sasuke."

Sasuke Itchy-Ha. Younger brother of Itachi Itchy-Ha. Sulky, cold behavior and hair like the back-end of a duck. Thinking this option over, she eventually nodded. "Sasuke it will be then. You are dismissed."

The blonde boy chuckled, giving her a salute. "Yes ma'am." And, to her utter relief, he left.

Echo inhaled deeply through the nose, glancing down at the black kitten who looked back up with a cold glare. She swirled the contents in the cup around, staring back down with a look of indifference. He certainly wasn't behaving logically. She was assisting him; shouldn't he be expressing emotions like joy instead of anger?

She tilted the glass so that only a single drop of water hit the black kitten on the head. Once again another loud pop followed by a poof of smoke filled the room; revealing the clothed ninja that was Sasuke Uchiha

He said nothing, only staring icily at her for a few moments. Echo, not intimidated in the slightest of fashion, stared back. For several minutes, neither one blinked. Eventually, he turned away, walking stiffly past her and out of the kitchen. Echo almost had the urge to shout Ha! I won! At his retreating back, but decided against it.

She took the glass and poured another drop of water onto the silver kittens head. Like the other two times, there was a loud pop and the room filled with smoke. The room had barely cleared when a streak of silver, black and red raced past her, screaming would-be profanities aimed at the blonde girl who took away his ability to use all of his favorite colorful adjectives.

Echo watched barely caught a glimpse of Hidan out of the corner of her eye as he disappear around the corner. She cocked her head to the side and wondering if she should try to stop him.

She eventually shrugged her shoulders; it wasn't like Hidan could harm Soey.

She repeated the process with Deidara. After the smoke began to clear Echo took the cup she had been holding and placed it inside the sink; turning her back on the blonde ninja.

"So, your name is Echo Echo Echo, un?"

The girl in question paused for a moment before looking over her shoulder at the ninja. He grinned lazily back, his eyes twinkling with mischief. Her lips curved downward slightly; she was certain her name had already been stated at least twice.

"Yes, my name is Echo Echo Echo." She replied slowly, wondering why his grin grew in size.

"Echo Echo Echo?" He repeated question, tilting his head innocently to the side.

"Yes, my name is Echo Echo Echo."

"Echo Echo Echo?"

"Yes, Echo Echo Echo."

"Echo Echo Echo?"

"Yes, my name is Echo Echo Echo." She repeated, her frown deepening.

"Echo Echo Echo, un?"

Echo opened her mouth to reply but stopped herself; tilting her head and eyeing Deidara curiously. She stayed that way for few moments before realization came across her face. "Ah, I see now." She said, nodding her head.

Deidara blinked twice. "Uh…"

"According to the profile Madame Mary-Sue gave Soey, you are an expert with explosives, am I correct?" She asked politely, once again tilting her head to the side.

He blinked again. "Um, yeah."

"Then it makes perfect sense." She spoke decisively, looking at him. "You failed to use sufficient ear protection while working with your explosives; therefore causing your auditory perception to decrease significantly over a slow period of time, or perhaps caused by one accident, hence the reason you keep asking me to repeat myself."

And for a third time that day, Deidara blinked. "...What?"

She grabbed him by the shoulders." YOOOOU SUUUFER FROOOM MOOODEEERATE. HEEEARING LOOOOSS." The green haired girl spoke loudly

"I am not deaf!" He yelled back, pulling away from her and glowering.

"I DIIIDN'T SAAAY YOOOU WEEERE DEEAF, I SAAAID YOOOU HAAAD MOOODEERATE HEEAARING LOOOSS." She repeated in the same slow, drawn out manner as before. "THEEREE IS NOOO SHAAAAME IN AAADMIITING YOOOU AAARE HAAANDICAPED. REEMEMBER, AAAADMITING YOOOU HAAAVE A PROOOBLEM IS HAAAALF OOOF THEEE SOOOLUTION." She did her best to sound comforting, though Echo didn't think she pulled it off correctly; Deidara looked even madder than before.

She sighed. She would never understand humans…

**.**

**.**

**.**

Sam sat on her bed in the room she and Argent shared. Her teacher had been in the bathroom taking a shower for nearly a hour now, not that Sam minded; she appreciated the time alone to think things over (Dave had 'gone to bed' half an hour ago). She was trying her best not to sulk and not to feel betrayed, but, sadly, she knew denial wouldn't solve anything.

Did Argent just forget her promise? Did she forget she was going to help Sam become a Mary-Sue so Sam could get the money she needed to save her world? The brunet sighed, rolling over onto her back and staring up at the ceiling counting the tiles while she thought.

1…

2…

3…

4…

Maybe she was just being selfish? After all, Argent obviously hated being a Mary-Sue and the opportunity to be set free might not come again for a long, long time.

28…

29…

30…

31…

Sam frowned. She wondered if she was the only one who saw the hole in the Mary-Sue's plan. Wouldn't the IMSDB just send more girls to... _romance _the guys? After all, if Argent and the others failed, what would stop them from sending the girls elsewhere and bringing in other women for the ninja's?

52…

53…

54…

55…

Her ears perked up when she heard the turning of a doorknob. She turned her head in time to see the door to their small, private bathroom open, revealing Argent now clothed in white camouflage pajama pants, and a black, baggy t-shirt. The teen yawned, flopping onto the crisp, white comforter on her bed, which stood only several feet away from Sam's perfectly matching one.

The teen rolled over on her side, looking directly at her, her purples eyes half-lidded and bored. "So, kiddo, what did you think about the plan?"

Sam averted her gaze. What should she say? I thought you were supposed to be my teaching me how to be a Sue, not keeping me from being one. I think there might be some flaws with your only hope for freedom? Not only did Sam not have the guts to say any of these things, but she didn't have to heart to possibly crush Argent's hopes.

"I-I thought it was... great." She winced at how her voice broke a little at the end.

Argent raised a perfect slender eyebrow, gauging the girl's reaction carefully. "Glad you think so." Said Argent. Sam looked over, feeling the intense stare of Argent's amethyst eyes at full power.

She knew Sam wasn't being honest, and that made the young girls guilt increase for lying to her teacher.

"Because, if you liked that," Argent continued. "You'll love part two."

"P-part two?" Sam repeated, her brows furrowing

The ebony haired Sue gave Sam a mischievous smirk and sat up straight. "We couldn't tell the guys part two because, well, it would make things a little more difficult." She looked up at the ceiling. "You see, while you were upstairs with the kittens, the girls and I talked about all the possible snags that might occur in my plan. One of them was, even if we fail, who's to say they won't move us on to other guys and give the ninja's some other eager Sue's? So we thought about it, and that's when we came up with part two of our brilliant plan." She looked back down at Sam, letting the child process the information

"We'll just have to make sure all the guys are taken." She said nonchalantly.

"...Taken?" Sam repeated, even more dumbfounded than before.

"Well, not taken as in romantically, but, befriended by a... _different_ Sue."

Sam blinked. "Really? Who?"

Argent eyes glinted, her lips pulling into an impish smirk. "You."

…

…

…

"WHAT?!" Sam shrieked, bolting upright.

"Geeze, keep it down!" Argent shushed. "You've got one amazing set of lungs." She added dryly, rubbing her left ear.

"I-I...m-me...wha?" The kid blabbered, not entirely sure what she was trying to say, but knowing it was suppose to be some kind of protest.

"Just calm down and _think_ for a second, you're good at that." The purple-eyed girl ordered. "I'm not saying make them all fall in love with you, hell no, You're only 10 years old, a tad bit young to have your own reverse harem." She chuckled at the idea. "Not to mention illegal. But if you befriend all of the guys, it'll count as them being taken for the time being, since you are a Mary-Sue in training. And, not only will you get the job as Mary-Sue, but the girls and I will be fired for sure! No offense, but you did only score a nine on the Mary-Sue limit test. The girls and I will look absolutely pathetic compared to that. No to mention, the guys will get sent back to their world without some flirty Sue on their arm. And without the romance, they'll shut down the show - that is to say, take it off the network - everybody wins."

"B-but... t-to be friends w-with them means I-I'll have to _talk _to them!"

"Yes Sam. Friendship usually requires human interaction." Argent drawled sarcastically. "You'll especially have to befriend Sasori since he's the one you were assigned to; you will have to become really, really good friends with him."

All of the color drained from Sam's face as she looked at her teacher in complete, absolute horror. "A-A-Argent, a-about Sasori... I-I've b-b-been trying t-to t-tell you all day th-that I-I can't be f-f-friends with h-him... n-not a-at a-all."

The teen cocked her head curiously. "Why? I mean, I know he'd not exactly friendly-"

"B-but I-I can't! I-I-I-" Sam took a deep breath. "I-Ihavepupaphobia!" She gushed

"...What?"

"I-I have pupaphobia... a-a chronic fear of... puppets."

…

…

…

"Oh."

There was another pause before Argent groaned, slapping a hand over her eyes.

"Crap, things just got a helluva lot harder."

**.**

**.**

**.**

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Thank you for the reviews

v-feather

xxKikikyxx

and silentbunny17

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter too! And thanks to those who followed and favorited as well!

I am very sorry that it took me so freakin' long to update, but life's gotten a little crazy lately and other projects got in the way ^^'

Ah I just realized I've been using the term 'Gary-Sue'

instead of 'Gary-Stu', so I am going to go back in the previous chapters and fix that little problem.

All tips, comments and critiques are welcome if anyone is willing to offer it.

I appreciate any help I can get with my writing


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